Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Tyrus will be turning three in a few days. Its hard to believe that three years have passed since I handed him over to his parents. I can literally remember what he felt like rolling around in my tummy. The last month before he was born I could make out visible body parts from the outside of my stomach. I would sit and watch TV...look down...and watch Ty play. It was amazing. Ive only seen him a hand full of times in person over the past three years. I'm lucky though because I get the pleasure of being a part of his life from afar thanks to Rebekah. Her blog is my biggest port hole into his life. She blogs so honestly and doesn't forget to share his sweet face in pictures. I love it...I'm so blessed. Lots of people ask me how I feel when I see a picture of him or they ask how I feel knowing he is my baby. The answers are: When I see a picture of Tyrus...I see pieces of Skyler and Matthew in him. Ty's eyes are always so bright and they scream happiness and that makes me feel so good. I'm so proud of the sweet boy he has become. I can only take credit for giving him a good start in life, I give God credit for his life, and I give Rebekah and Ben credit for everything he is and will be. They are shaping him (with Gods help) and teaching him everything he will need to know to get through life. Its just amazing....they are amazing. The second question is different...How do I feel knowing Ty is my baby. That's very simple...he was never JUST my baby. He belongs to all of us and that's how I feel about all my children. God put these kids on this earth for all of us to enjoy including moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandmas, grandmas, and most certainly birth moms fall into that category. I don't feel like I have lost him....he is just far away. My life is still very busy. I feel like I am running all the time. I'm constantly trying to make time for my kids and my family, and somewhere in the mix I try to make time for myself. In fact I had a lot of time to myself three weeks ago when I had a hysterectomy. It seems that all five of my babies did a number on my uterus and it was tired. I decided since I wasn't going to be having anymore babies that I would listen to the doctors and have it removed. I'm glad I did but the recovery is slow going. I still have not regained my energy. IM anxious to be back to my old self. I'm not sure where my life is going. My main jobs right now are to go to work and put food on the table...and to be a good mom to my kids. Nothing more nothing less...and that's OK. Someday my children will be grown and they will want to move away. That's when I will get to sit back and watch them take their adventure through life. My child bearing days are officially over...and it feels good...very good.
at 6:13 PM