tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post3840590478731068602..comments2023-08-27T03:46:44.855-07:00Comments on Sailing my way through...: Termination....what a horrible sounding word......Rebekahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10550034649514622918noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-52840080215561858792009-07-02T20:07:03.795-07:002009-07-02T20:07:03.795-07:00Rebekah, I found your blog by searching for it aft...Rebekah, I found your blog by searching for it after reading the other Rebekah's blog. I do not know either of you in person.<br /><br />Though I am so so happy for B and R, my heart hurt so badly for you. I am a mother of 2 with my 3rd on the way. Rebekah, you are my hero. Your love for Ty is the perfect picture of the love of our Father in heaven.<br /><br />My Daddy died two weeks before my 18th birthday in a plane crash. My world turned inside out because he was my guardian and my best friend. My mother was not a normal part of my life.<br /><br />But every day I think of him in heaven and the goofy things he did while he was here and I feel as if part of me lives in the eternal before I am even there, because part of me, my flesh and blood, already is there.<br /><br />Your Ty is still here and you will have him in your heart and life for the rest of your life to come. But oneday, one happy day, you, Ty, and Rebekah will live together forever praising the God who made all three of you, brought all three of you together, and the three of you will be together FOREVER. And your sweet Father knows the pain of giving up His son for the love of something better. <br /><br />Rebekah, I can't wait to meet you in heaven. You are my hero.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-83197018481120326752009-06-24T21:23:17.924-07:002009-06-24T21:23:17.924-07:00Thinking of you Rebekah.
Thinking that you are an...Thinking of you Rebekah.<br /><br />Thinking that you are anything but a failure.<br /><br />Thinking this is going to be a long road.<br /><br />Thinking Ty will be in your heart until the day you leave this earth and maybe even after that...<br /><br />Thinking you are precious as that baby boy of yours and deserve all the good things life has to offer.<br /><br />You've been heavy on my heart and I'd like to be available to you, should you need ANYTHING please make mention of such on your blog.<br /><br />Praying for you tonight.debbiedoOnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-17186417730423003392009-06-24T20:00:54.247-07:002009-06-24T20:00:54.247-07:00I truly think what you are doing is amazing!
I ho...I truly think what you are doing is amazing! <br />I hope you get to feeling better! Rest and know that there are people that are thinking about you!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06307378854027707316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-71353907012165004572009-06-24T11:58:13.596-07:002009-06-24T11:58:13.596-07:00A commenter (Sarah) said, "I can only hope th...A commenter (Sarah) said, "I can only hope that my daughter's birthmother loved her as much as you do Ty, although I may never know. What a blessing that would be for her to know!"<br /><br />I feel exactly the same way. <br /><br />I pray that as you grieve, the Lord will hold you in His Mighty Hand, bring peace and comfort to ease your pain, heartache and sense of loss. May your body and soul experience the deep healing that only God can bring. May you have strength for each new day. <br /><br />As an adoptive Mother to a sweet toddler, I have to tell you that it has been important for me to read through your posts...my daughter's Birth Mother also has five biological children (my adopted daugther is her fifth). <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your story. I will be praying for you. God bless.Terahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09366941334161206646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-34838810983202182902009-06-24T10:49:31.261-07:002009-06-24T10:49:31.261-07:00Hang in there, Rebekah! I admire you in so many w...Hang in there, Rebekah! I admire you in so many ways. There are many of us walking beside you during this very difficult time. You have friends all around you!<br /><br />LaurieLauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03610008504923118668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-41716126711400675442009-06-24T08:23:48.911-07:002009-06-24T08:23:48.911-07:00Rebekah, your greatest sacrifice and heartache is ...Rebekah, your greatest sacrifice and heartache is the other Rebekah's greatest blessing.<br /><br />Adoption is a powerful thing.<br /><br />I'm just checking on you. I can't get you off my mind.Tricianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-18921929632087787122009-06-24T08:03:33.604-07:002009-06-24T08:03:33.604-07:00The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all ...The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. <br /><br />He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them. <br /><br />(Ps 145.18-19)PrayingforRebekahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-19419180503665009282009-06-24T08:02:38.371-07:002009-06-24T08:02:38.371-07:00The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, ...The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. <br /><br />And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. <br /><br />(Ps 9.9-10)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-21257710270676643142009-06-24T07:53:02.402-07:002009-06-24T07:53:02.402-07:00LIfting you up in prayer today. As a mother throu...LIfting you up in prayer today. As a mother through both the old fashioned way and adoption, I can only imagine how horrible this experience is for you. You made a really tough decision. I don't think you are a bad mom for being realistic with yourself about what you can handle. In fact, I think that makes you even more amazing. God bless you and your son in this troubling time!SlushTurtlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15945128310561411120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-19091128087282689922009-06-24T07:43:21.073-07:002009-06-24T07:43:21.073-07:00Dear Rebekah.
I actually found your blog on FB thr...Dear Rebekah.<br />I actually found your blog on FB through my friend, but I actually know R & B and didn't realize you were the SAME Rebekah! Your post was amazing! You have done the selfless thing a human being can do! I stand in awe of you! I am the mother to 2 beautiful children through the miracle of adoption. I PRAY that my children's birthmother knows EVERY day what an amazing gift she gave to my husband and I. I could not have children and because of women like you with your unselfish and never-ending love, I am able to be called "mommy".<br /><br />Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Doripinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06938105191789354587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-40294386916674267192009-06-24T06:54:09.299-07:002009-06-24T06:54:09.299-07:00I just found your blog through my friend, T... I d...I just found your blog through my friend, T... I don't have the right words to say, but wanted to let you know that as a mom to both two bio kids and one that came to me through adoption, I love all my children with all of my heart and can honestly say I often forget which child was not born from my womb. My heart surely does not know the difference. <br /><br />Your Ty is such a lucky little boy to have you in his life... he will always know that you loved him more than anything in this world. From reading your blog, I can tell that you put so much love and thought into your decision to make an adoption plan for your little boy. I can only hope that my daughter's birthmother loved her as much as you do Ty, although I may never know. What a blessing that would be for her to know!<br /><br />I will keep you in my prayers as you begin your new life with all five of your children tightly woven in your heart.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05748280883860444530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-22346163203107563092009-06-24T06:05:06.617-07:002009-06-24T06:05:06.617-07:00Termination does sound ugly, b/c it's the same...Termination does sound ugly, b/c it's the same word used for ending a baby's life. Something you chose not to do. Someday Ty will be able to understand that you chose the very best for him--not something that you really wanted to do, but you put his needs first. Your choice ultimately gave Ty choices for the future. You didn't 'give' him away...you gave him a life of opportunities. You gave him a loving, two-parent home. You gave him the opportunity to be loved by even more people--his birth family and adoptive family. Ty is truly blessed because of ALL of you.Kathy Langhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15257117408919075284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-63887854009318846232009-06-24T05:59:31.871-07:002009-06-24T05:59:31.871-07:00I can't imagine your pain and I have no healin...I can't imagine your pain and I have no healing words. As an adoptive mom, I thank you for making such a hard but incredible choice. As a mom, my heart breaks for you.Michelle Smileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01423308673171062647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-37789018162758741572009-06-24T05:57:48.760-07:002009-06-24T05:57:48.760-07:00Lifing you up today R!!! I can only imagine! I a...Lifing you up today R!!! I can only imagine! I again wish my children's bmom's had put into words their feelings like you have!<br />Please continue to talk with someone, get the counceling that you need to help yourself begin to heal. You are making the ultimate sacrifice for the better for your child! It makes you the perfect mother!!<br /><br />We are fostering our 5 month old great-nephew right now. I only wish his 17 yr. old parents would give him this gift.......instead of having him in the middle of their fight and all the CPS junk!<br /><br />Hugs to you!Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00057393478776308396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-91865076472624001362009-06-24T05:48:22.083-07:002009-06-24T05:48:22.083-07:00P.S. Rebekah, a few of us have shared your link on...P.S. Rebekah, a few of us have shared your link on Facebook - so other women & mothers can read your blog & story & pray for you & help carry your burden during your time of grief. May you feel the Lord's peace & presence in this very moment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-85814021739758501122009-06-24T05:43:13.772-07:002009-06-24T05:43:13.772-07:00Honey, I just found your blog. Rebekah, I am send...Honey, I just found your blog. Rebekah, I am sending you cyber-hugs, prayers & strength in this very momeny.<br /><br />I have a 6 year-old biological daughter & we adopted our sweet Mayan Princess, Sofia, from Guatemala in 2007. <br /><br />YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER - you are selfless & giving & enduring heartbreak because of your great love for your son. <br /><br />Allow yourself to grieve. To cry. To rest. You are human. You are a mom. <br /><br />We are all here for you in blogland, Rebekah. Much love.Tricianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-2662023810909828162009-06-23T22:46:43.330-07:002009-06-23T22:46:43.330-07:00Dear sweet Beckah,
I can't as your mom leave ...Dear sweet Beckah, <br />I can't as your mom leave this site without letting you know that my heart bursts with love and pride for you. <br />You not only have given the best lost a mother could to her baby new born boy but in that act you have given years of strenghtening love to your four children at home. <br />Knowing your own capabilities of giving the best quality of love to these children you have now sacriced and given selflessly to all five of your born children. <br />You have so much to give and have given as a mother. Now you will give more fully to your four and wisely to your most recent little boy. <br />As your mother, my heart aches knowing know your heart is saddened and grieves with a kind of joy that can not be explained. <br />I want to hug your pain away but I know if you don't feel now those legitimate feelings will come back at a time that is unhealhy. So I won't rescue you from the pain. Well not all of it,I just can't stand to not some. I'm a mom aftet all. And your mom as I am so proud to be. So to my extraordinary daughter I say I love you, I am in awe of your strength and I am blessed to be a part of your story from the very beginning. <br />Love and kisses,<br />MomGraceladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09482087836268440571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-80516824778011046112009-06-23T21:33:55.989-07:002009-06-23T21:33:55.989-07:00I just read your entire blog. I am an adoptive mo...I just read your entire blog. I am an adoptive mom. I want you to know how selfless you are and what an amazing person you are. You did a wonderful thing and I pray that you heart heals with the knowledge that your son is loved beyond measure and he will always know how much you love him. I found this poem and it reminds me of my sweet Sophie's birthmother.<br />ON THE WINGS OF A PRAYER<br /><br />I set you free on the wings of a prayer<br />To fly through life in His tender care,<br /><br />You're free from the nest and the ties that are bound<br />Free from the pressures I carry around.<br /><br />If I kept you I'd only be cutting your wings,<br />Not offering the chance a true family brings.<br /><br />The decision I've made has my heart torn in two,<br />But I know what I'm doing is the best thing for you.<br /><br />The sky is so vast, the mountains so high<br />Take wing and remember: I love you.<br /><br />Goodbye.<br /><br />--LISA BOTE-PHILLIPS, a birth mother <br /><br />-Muriel<br />mom to Sophie(grown in my heart) and <br />Jack (grown in my belly)<br />www.tiarasandtutus.blogspot.comThe Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02070815905198183370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-15209274466404668802009-06-23T19:50:01.912-07:002009-06-23T19:50:01.912-07:00oh, and i forgot to say one more thing: you are NO...oh, and i forgot to say one more thing: you are NOT a failure as a mother. a failure would be someone who made decisions based solely on their own desires & emotions... you put yourself aside & did what was best for your son. i watched a documentary on open adoption once, and the first mother said, "it definitely wasn't the right decision for me, but it was the right decision for him." i think it's the same with you - as hard as it is for you, you've done what was best for your baby.<br /><br />you're the furthest thing from a failure there is.<br /><br />- michelleMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05231707322138549807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-34771292491596734072009-06-23T19:48:07.041-07:002009-06-23T19:48:07.041-07:00Rebekah,
I was out all day long (first time in mon...Rebekah,<br />I was out all day long (first time in months, I'm very sick) so couldn't check the blog, but I was thinking about & praying for you today.<br /><br />It's perfectly normal to be crying and sad - you just lost your son in many ways. Although you'll have the blessing of an open adoption, you still won't be raising him - if you DIDN'T grieve, I'd be quite concerned! You truly are doing amazingly well from what we can see on the blog... I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but it seems that you have peace in the family you've chosen for your son and that you know you made the right choice, even though it's the hardest thing you've ever had to do.<br /><br />Praying for you, dear sister...<br /><br />- michelleMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05231707322138549807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-8438209021674397102009-06-23T18:04:01.080-07:002009-06-23T18:04:01.080-07:00Oh Rebekah, if I lived close to you I don't th...Oh Rebekah, if I lived close to you I don't think I could ever stop hugging you. I wish I was as strong and brave as you. <br />I know you don't feel that way. I know you hurt. I have been there. As you know through my comments, I was on the other side. I can't tell you how thankful I am to hear a sweet birthmothers perspecitive. I send pictures and letters to my childre's birth parents but I never hear back from them. I would LOVE for my kids to know and have a relationship with them. I think that is so healthy. I pray that one day they will have the strength to do that. I know that it will be in THEIR time and I truly respect that. I cannot begin to imagine how you you are morning that sweet baby boy. I can tell you from an adoptive mothers perspective that Rebekah understands that mourning. I am sure, just like I, she mourned the loss of her biological children. And just like I, if you asked her today, I bet she would say, she would NOT trade that sweet baby Tye for 100 of biological babies. You are an angel Rebekah. You have created a family and God is looking down on you and smiling. Just think, just like HIM, you gave your son ~ To make his world a better place. :) You are ALWAYS in my prayers. Thank you for being so selfless. I wish I could take your pain away and I pray that IT WILL get better.I remeber when my children were finally adopted and I remeber thinking that as much as I wanted them, I HATED the word termination. It doesn sound harsh. And for selfless people like you, they should re-name it to...selflessly sacrificing...or something like that. :) ((((HUGS))))~Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00431200698735865679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-33244180193206377762009-06-23T17:30:28.315-07:002009-06-23T17:30:28.315-07:00it's weird...after you have been through this ...it's weird...after you have been through this kind of thing, EVERYTHING changes!!! i am a birth grandmother of daughter who placed baby in open adoption and like you said, you are a different person from this time on. You think of that baby in every area of your life, in every circumstance. Relinquishing this baby is bigger than anyone who has not been through this can imagine.<br /><br />People do not mean to say the "wrong" things. Just like the nice comment earlier in this post about you "giving Ty to a wonderful family". You did not "give" Ty to a wonderful family, you gave a wonderful family to your flesh and blood, YOUR TY. It's weird how all of these comments are nice....ones like "you are a great mother and now your other children need you". Well, yes, but it does not lessen the tremendous hole that is in your heart for THIS child.<br />I even got mad the other day when someone said to me that what my daughter did was so much easier to live with than having an abortion. I thought about it and I am not sure it is. It is ultimately the "right" choice and God honoring choice but I am not at all sure it is an easier life or is somehow easier to live with than the choice you have made. As a matter of fact I am starting to think that this is even emotionally a more difficult choice. I pray constantly that God will honor you and my daughter and all the others who have chosen adoption for their children. I realize the reward may not come until heaven. I sure hope you all of you believer birth moms have an amazing reward coming for this choice!!!!<br />You must go through the grief process. Feel it all and allow yourself to grieve it hard. My daughter has not done this and is stuck in life.<br />May all of us who now know the gut wretching pain of relinquishment reach out in love and compassion to birth moms in a new way.<br />There is really no socially acceptable way for the birth mother to grieve. There are post abortion groups, tons of help for teen and single moms...but birthmom? <br />Well, I realize I am rambling but my heart is with you as the mom of a birthmom and birth grandmother of a precious baby boy that I miss more than words can express. I can only imagine what it is like to be the mom.<br />If I can be of support mention it in your blog and we can exchange email addresses.<br />I am praying for you, sweet Rebekah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-32300407000313100872009-06-23T16:39:50.534-07:002009-06-23T16:39:50.534-07:00Rebekah,
You have done a wonderful, selfless t...Rebekah, <br /> You have done a wonderful, selfless thing by giving Ty to Ben & Rebekah. I started reading your blog several months ago and have been praying for you (and B & R) for a while now. Sometimes when you hear about things happening you just know, I mean KNOW in your heart that it is right. . . meant to be. That is how I felt when I read your (& Rebekah's) blog. I could just SEE God's hand in the whole situation. I am pretty sure you feel the same way.... that is why you feel peace (in the midst of the pain) that you did the right thing for Ty. <br /><br /> Now do me a favor, eliminate the word "failure" from your vocabulary. I think you are a success, a HUGE success. I mean think about it from Ben & Rebekah's point of view........ I am sure "failure" is the LAST word they'd ever use to describe you. Loving, kind & giving are the words they would use. <br /> So, try to smile thru the tears and know that you did the right thing.<br />Krystal<br /><br />(The video you posted last night was wonderful..... made me cry. Just beautiful! I tried to comment on it but I don't think it worked)Krystalnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-21475598992547645382009-06-23T12:37:24.180-07:002009-06-23T12:37:24.180-07:00I found your blog a few days back through a blog f...I found your blog a few days back through a blog friend and I just have to say, wow. You are such an amazing woman. Words can't even express how wonderful and amazing you are. I am sure R and B are going to be amazing parents and love Ty so very much.<br /><br />I am so sorry you are having a hard time with letting him go. It breaks my heart and makes my eyes well up with tears for you.<br /><br />You are so amazing.Chellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06387359193986785194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-65449494161626319962009-06-23T11:00:21.511-07:002009-06-23T11:00:21.511-07:00Becky,
I totally ditto what Cindie said. I am in ...Becky,<br />I totally ditto what Cindie said. I am in awe of you. <br /><br />My eyes have been puddles since I heard of your sacrifice. I thought it was just allergies but then I recognized the ache in my throat. I am right here with you in my heart, praying for you. <br /><br />And yes... Satan is gonna lie to you and try to convince you that you were a bad mom. Don't even listen to him... you know that you heard from God about this, God's blessing has been on this from day one and He is watching over you and baby. Remind the devil of that every time he tries to discourage you. It will make him run! <br /><br />Love,<br />TamiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com