tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post5869798898714620629..comments2023-08-27T03:46:44.855-07:00Comments on Sailing my way through...: Not sleeping much...Rebekahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10550034649514622918noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-13062583379389990842009-03-09T19:26:00.000-07:002009-03-09T19:26:00.000-07:00Wow... I read your blog today and am still process...Wow... I read your blog today and am still processing everything!<BR/><BR/>First, I want to tell you how amazing you are. You have picked yourself up by the bootstraps more than once, and are trying to make a better life for you and your kids. I was a single parent for 2.5 years with my first daughter with a disappeared bio-dad, and remember how emotionally/physically/financially draining that was. I can't imagine doing it with four, and again... I am just really impressed with you.<BR/><BR/>I get sad when I read how much you're beating yourself up over the situation with Ron. We all have things in our lives that we look back on and say, "I should have known better." But God is such a good and merciful God, and if we could be perfect on our own, we never would have needed Jesus! Turning to him with true contrition and a sincere resolve to avoid sin and serve Him with the rest of our lives is all we can do.<BR/><BR/>I have so many mixed emotions reading your thoughts and others' thoughts on your decision to paticipate in adoption. I am pregnant too with my fourth, 29 weeks along, so I am more touched by just about everything I read these days. But in all honesty, I know lots of families who have adopted children. I have seen the beauty of it from the adoptive parenting side. We have gone through it in a much more minor way when my now-husband legally adopted my first child after we got married. I just never, ever thought about how much a natural mommy goes through when she leaves the hospital and the years to come afterward. I am so ashamed to admit that! I thought before of how difficult the decision would be in the hospital and signing papers, but never the long term effects. It is something that we are never exposed to, on the outside looking in. I've never known what that was like, and reading these comments and the blogs about it kind of scares me. Grief that real, that raw, from a mother who has experienced such a traumatic loss not by fate but by her own choice is just... wow. I can understand why some of the women are in so much pain and want to help others avoid the same consequences.<BR/><BR/>I can appreciate the "warnings" these mothers are giving you. They want to spare you from the pain they will carry. And as much as B and R are beautiful, amazing people I can understand the warnings that in the end, in the hospital, you need to think about the baby and not about disappointing anyone. However, reading your blog and going through a couple of years of single parenthood myself with just one, I do believe you with my whole heart when you say having another baby to raise would destroy you. I deal with depression and as much as I love being a mother and have a wonderful husband who helps me with everything, I get overwhelmed at times. <BR/><BR/>You and only you can make this decision in the end. I think it is good to explore and imagine what you could be feeling after an adoption, and also if you kept your son. Then if you still decide that B and R are going to be the parents of your son, you won't feel cheated or coerced. I think it is good to read these women's words and gain what wisdom you can from them. I wouldn't let some of the more insulting remarks hurt you, but taking the overall message into consideration can only help in the end. <BR/><BR/>Sorry for rambling on here... just want you to know that a stranger across the country is thinking and praying for you tonight. Whatever you decide to do, I respect and admire you for doing it. <BR/><BR/>-BCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2742513755380604219.post-49559905737146201682009-03-07T08:08:00.000-08:002009-03-07T08:08:00.000-08:00money is a scary thing. I get caught up in those ...money is a scary thing. I get caught up in those thoughts myself quite often. The only thing I tell myself is God allways provides. Each time I get scared and bugged and irritated to tears, and choose to forget that He has always provided. then when the situation turns out fine, I look back and then to I accept the fact that He does love me and he Always will provide. <BR/> trusting in the unseen is a very hard thing for me. Im always telling the Lord, " SHOW ME THE MONEY!" *LAUGH* He must just shake his head at me and mutter, "oh cindie!" *laugh* I love Him for that!mak'n Changeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11285144224158102681noreply@blogger.com