Saturday, August 31, 2013


Deep in thought this morning I was taken back at my place in life right now vs my life when Tyrus was born. Over four years ago I was faced with being a single mom of five. The choice I made to give Ty up for adoption was a sad relief. I say those words together because I knew I would face extreme sadness without my son but also relief that he would have such a better life. 
During the process of growing Ty in my belly I knew that someday I would remarry and I knew in my heart that I would mother more children even if it was only as a step-mom. I wondered, while I was still pregnant, if I would feel guilty becoming a mom to other children after giving up one. 
Today those thoughts I had way back then have become a reality. I am now a mother to seven. Do I feel guilty? Yes at times I feel extreme guilt and the sadness overwhelms me. I then have to center myself and remember that I'm in a different place now. I have to remember that God restores lives in very unique ways. God is good. 


Chanell said...

Hi Rebekah,

The thing is none of us have a "crystal ball" to know what the future holds. We do the very best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. Life is so complex with many shades of grey. All we can do is our very best and ask God to guide us.

Wishing you peace and joy.

Rebekah said...

God IS good and makes all things beautiful, even our hardships. I love watching your beautiful new family. It will never replace the loss of Tyrus, but it does serve to bring you an abundance of joy. Ty's life is a testimony to your great love...

Sissy said...

I think you do what is best for each child, and what was best for Ty was to be given a home with Rebekah. You did what was best for your older girls by sending them to their grandparents and it couldn't have been easy either. While we have to live with the choices we make, I believe God gives us the strength to deal with them.

Faith said...

Thank you for your honesty. Emotions are so up and down, and all we can do is make the best decisions we can at that very moment...You and Rebekah and Ben and Ty (and now LJ) and all of your children have a beautifully interwoven story and I thank you for sharing it.