Ive thought about this possibility before. At first I thought it was not even a possibility but given my present circumstances I really don't think I could handle or manage another baby. I don't think that this means that I am a horrible person or that I would love my baby, but I think it means that I know my limits.
I talked to the sperm don er today. I was so angry with him. I cant understand how you could willingly have unprotected sex with someone and then just walk out like that. Its so irresponsible. I would have gladly dedicated myself to him and we could have done this together...but now I find myself really in a bad bad position. I already have four kids. I have four kids that keep me very busy, to put one more in the mix would be so hard. Emotionally I just don't know if I could offer what it would take. I have family here but they cant help me like a husband would. I am already on welfare and trying to do the best I can. OK, now I feel really selfish. I am the one who chose to have sex...I knew what I was doing. I don't believe in abortion and I read about all these wonderful families that are just waiting for there miracles. Is God telling me something? Am I going to be part of a miracle? I truly hope so.
So here I am today, at almost twelve weeks, thinking about adoption. I just have so many questions. If I decide on this then I would most certainly want to try and pick a couple that could go through the pregnancy with me as soon as possible. Can the dad sign his rights away before the baby is born or after? How does this all work because this little babies sperm doner is such a lire. I couldn't believe a word he tells me, so why would I want to get a couple involved thinking they were going to adopt this baby and then when it happens the sperm doner steps in and runes everything. What can I do?