Christmas!!

Well, its been two days since I have been home. I am so so so glad to be home. My house is a mess but I am still glad to be home. My (ex) in-laws are in town so I have been spending lots of time over at the kids Aunties house where they are staying. I love being around them. They are the grandparents of my kids. I was married to there son for six years (first marriage). We are all very blessed to be so close and love each other so much. Anyway, its been really nice to be around them.

Christmas is almost over. I cant believe it. I am so exhausted. All the cooking and preparing the presents for the kids and clean up and everything in between is really really exhausting. I have come to realize that Christmas really is for the kids. LOL I guess we don't realize how much our parents do for us as kids.

I am so thankful that we know the real reason for the season. For me and my kids it really is Jesus' birthday. We went to the Christmas Eve service and it was wonderful to just focus on the real reason for the season. My kids get SOOOO many things for Christmas. I don't buy them anything because I cant afford it but the relatives make up for it big time. LOL My kids don't notice that they have nothing from me.

As far as my pregnancy goes.....Well I went to the doctor last Friday. The baby was doing fine and seems to be much bigger then before. It was still to early to see the heartbeat but they did a vaginal ultrasound again. I think that makes my fourth one. :) I don't mind. Who wouldn't want to see there baby that many times. He/she is growing fine. I am still having a very hard time accepting the whole thing. Again I promised myself that I would be real in this journal. I don't like being pregnant this time. I loved being pregnant the previous four. This time seems different. I get very depressed about it. It might be because it is the first trimester and I feel so sick all the time. I have to eat every four hours or I will throw up over and over again. I hate eating so much. Its such a pain in my butt to do so. I do feel some relief. Last Friday I was eleven weeks and three days. So tomorrow I will be twelve weeks. First trimester is almost over. YIPPEEE!!!!

Well enough griping on this fine day. It really has been wonderful. My family and friends are wonderful to me and the kids. I don't know how I could have done it without them. We are very very blessed.

Kriss, Ben's hair is just precious. I could see how hard it was for you. Its hard to cut there baby hair off. Did you save some of his hair? He is so precious.

I am going to try and post more now that I will be home a bit more. I really want to try and use this to get my feelings out and really try to heal through this hard time.