I dont know if I can take it anymore!!

I did not have all these children to do this alone. I am really really angry. I didnt realize how angry I was till now. I am so angry at the kids dads for what they have done. I don't understand. We made a choice to have these kids and now here I am doing it alone.

Matts teacher doesn't like me. I don't even think she likes him. He is nine years old and she is just certain that he has Add or Adhd. Whatever!! I work until about six o'clock at night. I have to then get the kids (all four of them) fed, there rooms cleaned and showers all by myself and have them in bed for school the next day. Now I am in trouble with the teachers because I am not doing the homework with the kids. I don't know how the heck I am going to do all of this stuff. I cant get it done. I'm sorry but homework takes last place in the events of the night. I need the teachers to teach the kids school and I will try and handle the rest. I don't have time for homework.

Not to mention my kids seem to be out of control with there attitudes. They are yelling at me and being defiant and disrespectful. My nine year old girl ( Victoria) is constantly unhappy about her life. It apparently is a horrible life. My kids don't have a great life. They have everything they need.

I cant get my daughter to clean her room. (the nine year old) It has been several days of telling her over and over to do it. Im not a clean freak but I do need to be able to walk in there. Its a small room and two girls live in there and its not fair for the older girl to live in it. I am going to scoop up everything tonight and put it into a garbage bag and she will have to earn it all back.

Well I think I have done enough complaining. I am so tired. Not like Im tired and need to sleep but just so mentally tired. I need a break. I wish I had a little more money so that I could hire a babysitter to come and watch the kids once a month so that I can go out to the movies. Now I would be going alone but I would love it. I never get out, I never get a break. I need out, I need a break. Otherwise I dont think I can handle it.