FREAKING OUT!!!

I'm a bundle of nerves this weekend. We found a place that we like. Its adorable and perfect for us with a washer and dryer, two car garage (can you say whoop whoop), and a wood burning fire place. Its two level and we love it.

My strategy worked. I brought my security deposit and gave it to the lady and she locked us in. Nobody else can put their application in because they work on a first come first serve basis. The only problem is, its a property management company and she had about five other rental applications to process before mine (different addresses). She said that maybe she would get to it yesterday but not to fret if I didn't hear from her because she had so much to do. I didnt hear from her so I called her and she said she had not been able to process it yet so it looks like Ill be waiting until Monday to hear anything. AHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'M FREAKING OUT HERE. Do you all think I have anything to worry about? I don't owe any past rent and I have always paid on time, so if she pulls my credit she will see that I have a low credit score but of course she will also see that my bad credit is not because of not paying rent to any landlord. Also if she pulls my criminal history she will also see that I have never been in trouble. Am I worrying for nothing?

In the meantime, me and the kids continue to pack. If we get approved we will be moving on the 13th. I was really hoping to hire a moving company but I just don't have the funds for it so I am going to rely on friends and family which is also going to be hard because I don't have many people to ask. God is going to have to step in and help me on that one.

Here are some pictures of the place. It is a little retro with the orange counter tops but we don't mind because we are just happy with counter tops that are not covered with paint like we have now. We just want a place to live.

Going broke on background checks!

Well, with the impending move I have managed to pack a few boxes. Thank you Wal-mart for the lovely free boxes. I love it.

I have spent many hours on craigslist and other rental web sites trying to track down the "perfect" place to live for me and the kids. Here lies the problem. These landlords charge a NON-refundable $25 dollar application fee. I could seriously go broke if I were to turn one in for all the places I was interested in. This is crazy. Not only that but I'm not the only applicant that they have...they get to choose who the best tenant would be from the five or six different applicants. Are there seriously that many people looking for rentals right now? I'm going to go look at one today and at least five different people have already turned in the application. The lady said to me "but nobody has paid a deposit yet." LOL So....here are my thoughts: Money talks right? If I show up with my deposit in hand and offer it to them with my application, then that should shoot me up at the top of the list right? (grin)

I REALLY don't have time to sit around and wait for these landlords to decide who is the best applicant...I figure I'M the best applicant because I will have the money!!!!!! (wishful thinking?) I'm just trying to get ahead of the game, and it truly seems like a game.

So, as it stands right now...I'm finding some really cute places. Chelsea is coming around to the idea of moving and has even softened her heart to it and is almost ready to decide to just switch schools this year so she can get to know the kids that she will be going to high school with.

I made it through another week of work. I am always thankful when a week ends because I feel accomplished. Accomplished because they didn't fire me (I'm still not sure they want to keep me), and I didn't miss any work....and most importantly...I did my best. I love my job....I really pray they soon decide that I'm a keeper.

COMMENTS!!!!!

I love your comments. I often feel bad because I don't comment often anymore on other peoples blog. I am hoping that my life settles down soon and I can do that; however, I am still a lurker/reader on your blogs so I am keeping up with all your wonderful lives. Thank you for caring for me and my family. I sure love you guys.

So...that's my update. Ill take some picture today of the town home I'm going to look at. WHOOOPEEEEE!!!!!!!

OK...what now Lord?

We were so excited to move. It was an income regulated apartment so we were just waiting around for the paperwork to get approved. Me and the kids had been collecting boxes and packing things we didn't need and dreaming of our washer and dryer....well....I may have been the only one dreaming of a washer and dryer, but you get the point.

It was yesterday (Wednesday) and I was at work when I got a phone call that said "Rebekah, I have some news. Are you sitting down?"

Sigh!!!

I was then informed that the apartment I was applying for was not available to me because I made to much money. I make exactly three hundred dollars to much. I was a little shell shocked. I had gone over my income with these people before I went through this whole process to avoid such a situation and now I found myself smack in the middle of an impossible seeming story. He then went on to tell me that they did have a market value apartment (same EXACT apartment as the income regulated one) for $945.00 a month. I cant afford rent that high. Its just COMPLETELY out of my range.

I told the man thank you and hung up. I had already given my apartment complex my thirty day notice...but that was only two days ago so I just figured that I would call and ask them to disregard my notice and then I would save up and move in the summer instead of right now. Everything was going to be OK.

I finally reached my lunch hour yesterday so I dialed the phone number to my apartment complex and gave them the low down.....

Me: Hi Crystal. I wont be moving...it fell through can you cancel my 30 day notice?

Crystal: Oh OK...can you hold on a minute?

Me: Sure.

Crystal: Rebekah...I'm sorry but we have already rented out your apartment and they already signed the lease. You have to be out by March 17th.

I was heartbroken. I cried almost my whole lunch hour wondering what I was going to do. How was I going to find a place to live in three weeks? How was I going to afford the security deposit? I only have saved a few hundred. I felt defeated, hopeless. My heart and my pocket book were really counting on this very affordable and cute apartment and now it was gone and the possibility of being without a place to live was just around the corner.

So that was yesterday...today is the same situation and I really don't know what I am going to do. Please pray for me and my family. Everybody is sad especially Chelsea. She is just about to graduate from eight grade. She wants to graduate with all her friends and is so scared of what might happen with us moving away.

Seems impossible.....but I am hopeful. What now Lord?

A fun giveaway!!

I have lots to say but am so tired. My fun life of sick kids and trying to make it to work and not get fired continues. So this will be short/sweet but exciting.

Rebekah (Ty's momma) is having her first giveaway!! Its a super cool picnic bag tote of you win...and if you dont win you could go on over to the maker of the bags site and buy one. Go check it out HERE. I cant wait to see who wins. I hope its me!!!

Reflection...

This morning I woke up to a fresh set of Tyrus videos to watch. It five thirty in the morning and I'm here with tears in my eyes, watching Ty laugh it up with his momma while she desperately tries to get him to do tricks on camera. He really does go into shell shock when that camera goes on.

As I sit here and watch Ty grow I remember that it wasn't that long ago when my kids were little like that. It was me on the floor trying to make them blow kisses and do all the fun tricks that they had been trying to master for weeks.

Now they are big and I find myself taking them for granite many times. Its a whole different story when they are not babies and you are not wiping their butts or carrying them to the bath tub. Now they do all that on their own and our relationship is so different. I remember when all they wanted was a cup of milk and a chance to sit as close to mom as they could. Now, they still want the milk, but the "close to mom" thing is not so much there. The kids focus (Ive noticed) is to become independent, and they desperately seek to be their own persons.

I'm having a hard time adjusting to this. I'm being stretched and pulled and tested daily. I honestly don't know how we make it through the weeks. Except for Gods grace...I'm not sure I would make it.

I remind myself daily that this is all part of growing up for them. Its a bit scary for me because I am doing it alone...so it helps me to remember that every kid goes through these stages, and it is just different stages of life.

Through it all, parenting is still the best job ever. Everything I do revolves around them. In fact lately I have realized that I probably need to plan a night out. I have noticed a bit of grumpy in my attitude. But I think that can be fixed with a fun night out at the movies. Taking care of me needs to go back at the top of the list.

We are so excited to move. We have not received a move in date yet, but we will, and Ill announce it on here. I want to post before and after pictures (good apartment vs. bad apartment LOL). Thank you all for your sweet comments. I'm so glad to have you all as readers. You are dear to me.

I think reflection is the best medicine. Ty makes me reflect a lot. I could watch a million other babies videos, but he is different, and when I watch him play and laugh with his momma and daddy, it brings my life back in perspective. Watching him makes me remember where I have come from...and where I want to go, and how I want to parent my kids. Thank you God for Ty....thank you God for all my kids.

Choices!

I really hate making big choices. I don't seem to make them very well and I cant seem to make them on my own. Ive been wondering what to do with our living situation for a long time now. We live in a very old apartment complex. Its been upgraded and painted and painted again until I'm sure the walls are two times thicker because of it. I don't really have counter tops because for some reason when ever a new resident moves in...they just put a fresh coat of paint on top of the counter tops. Weird hugh? We are not picky. The reasons we picked this complex over the others was the vast amount of play area. We have seen some hard times here but we have seen some fun times as well. But, we are tired of our over painted walls and counter tops...and climbing the stairs to do laundry. We are ready for an upgrade.

I wanted to buy a house this summer. I have been looking and looking. I got my tax money back and started paying off past due bills...fixing the jeep AGAIN...and buying a few things that we needed. I slowly watched the money that was intended to get into a house dwindle down. Even as I was looking for a new place to "buy" I never felt at peace about it. I just didn't feel like it was the right time. Money kept flying out of my wallet and I just kept thinking "I'm not ready to be financially responsible for a house yet." So here again lies the choices thing again. I don't want to be strapped for cash. So many things play into this. I had to hire a babysitter to "sit" with the kids after school so they wouldn't kill themselves. LOL (which is going wonderfully and well worth the almost two hundred "extra" dollars a month I will be paying).

Another thing that bothers me is my Victoria. She is constantly sick and Im not talking about having colds. She just never feels good. I cant figure it out...and I dont know what to do about it. I can only assume that because she is highly allergic to mold, and this place is full of it, that she isnt doing well here because of it. The sooner I leave...the sooner (in my mind) she will feel better.

After much much thought, I decided (and believe me when I tell you that for me to make a choice on my own without anyone else's opinion is hard) to just upgrade to a better apartment for now. So...in a months time, me and the kids will be moving. We will be living the life of luxury with counter tops that are not painted, our own washer and dryer IN OUR APARTMENT, a fireplace, french doors, after school activities in the office, and vaulted ceilings with ceiling fans. Yes we are ready to be spoiled. (grin) Its only a hundred dollars more a month but I think it will even itself out because of how the utilities are done. We are excited!!!!

I'm not always sure that I make the right decisions, and I am most certain that not everyone will be happy with me, but they are my decisions to make...and make them I did.

OH MY!!

Yesterday I had to go to Chelsea's school to get some homework for her because she is suspended. (which is a whole other story) Its been snowing here for three days so everything is icy and slippery. I had my work shoes on because after I had to go straight to work. We walked up the long sidewalk covered in snow and ice and entered the school. The school bell had just rang and all the kids and teachers were in the halls making their way to the next classes and laughing and talking. I felt like I was back in high school and I fit right in because most of the kids were taller then me. Here I am with my work clothes on and my big winter coat and my cool new purse when all of a sudden...my feet went out from underneath me and I fall straight down. My purse hit the floor and so did I. I looked up and everyone was watching me. I was mortified. LOL Nobody came over to help...they just stared. Chelsea said "mom, are you OK?" I quickly got off the floor...motioned to everyone in the "coolest" way I could that I was OK and started walking really fast to my daughters locker. Any semblance of "cool" was lost. As I walked down the hallway I could hear the kids snickering behind me...so in order to join with them in the fun of laughing at me...I turned around...looked at them...and laughed with them. They just looked at each other like "shes weird." I'm such a geek. LOL

A Victorian Ball!

Things are much better around here. We got through the sicknesses. It seems that the kids are feeling much better. I still have to deal with the "I don't feel good" or "my legs hurt" or "my head hurts," kinda thing but other then that all is well. Thank you everyone for your kind comments. Its so good to know I am not alone out there and not the only one who goes through these things.

The girls had a wonderful opportunity to attend a Victorian style dinner with dancing and the whole shebang. They rented period style dresses...had their hair done all fashioned like and off to the ball they went with my mom and her boyfriend. Here are some pictures of my sweet little (or not so little anymore)girls. They looked so precious.



Here pictured with the girls and Skyler is my mom. Thanks mom for showing the girls such a wonderful time.

Repeat and repeat again...

This weekend went OK. One of my dear friends gave us her living room furniture this weekend so that was quite a treat. We now have a love seat and couch...as well as a lazy boy chair and a sitting chair. The kids are thrilled that everyone has their own piece of furniture to call their own for movie night. Nobody has to sit on the floor.

From there though...everything has gone down hill. Skyler has ran a fever the past two nights....I'm not sure why. He has a cold but I cant understand how he can be sick again after he was just sick last week. Could it be that he is so new to daycare and they are just passing it back and forth to eachother? And can it happen that quickly and often? It only spikes in the evening and then breaks before morning. Matthew was complaining of an ear ache. He just missed three days of school last week because he was sick and yesterday (Sunday night) I had to rush him to the urgent care where he was quickly and swiftly diagnosed with an ear infection. So that makes two ear infections for him in two months. WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!

So yesterday when I had finally got home from Walgreen's getting Matt's prescription, I get home, get Skyler's fever managed and sit down on the chair to sleep (I cant sleep in my bed because the girl did the laundry which is a whole different story)...and low and behold Victoria comes in crying.

"Mom," she says. "I didn't want to tell you because I thought it would go away but I have a pain so bad in my lower back that I can hardly walk and it made me fall to the ground it is so painful." I immediately think "kidney infection" and give her ibuprofen as well as a heating pad and send her to bed. I am about to wake her up to see if this mysterious pain has disappeared over night.

Pray for me friends. I feel so alone and frustrated. Three kids out of four not feeling well. I have to make it to work. I know this is a big complaining post but it is my life right now and I am just distraught.

I feel like the kids just keep getting sick over and over again (repeat and repeat again). I hope I can get through this week.

Help me Jesus!!!!!