Different

Deep in thought this morning I was taken back at my place in life right now vs my life when Tyrus was born. Over four years ago I was faced with being a single mom of five. The choice I made to give Ty up for adoption was a sad relief. I say those words together because I knew I would face extreme sadness without my son but also relief that he would have such a better life. 

During the process of growing Ty in my belly I knew that someday I would remarry and I knew in my heart that I would mother more children even if it was only as a step-mom. I wondered, while I was still pregnant, if I would feel guilty becoming a mom to other children after giving up one. 

Today those thoughts I had way back then have become a reality. I am now a mother to seven. Do I feel guilty? Yes at times I feel extreme guilt and the sadness overwhelms me. I then have to center myself and remember that I'm in a different place now. I have to remember that God restores lives in very unique ways. God is good.