Tuesday, March 10, 2015
This picture is of me in 2009. I am holding my newborn son and I am about to say good bye to him as his mom and dad take him home to Michigan. He is my fifth born son and I had chose not to parent him. Life had gotten the best of me and I could no longer control it. I weighed 319 pounds and I was a single mom to four other small children. The pain I felt in this moment was unbearable. My chin was quivering and I was trying to keep myself from falling apart. I kept looking at his feet and rubbing his legs...they were so perfect.
One memory I have in this moment was being very thankful to the couple I had chosen to parent my son. By giving them my sweet boy meant a great burden was taken from me. My life was falling in around me and I didn't want my new son to be sucked into it. I was grateful he wouldn't have to be part of my dysfunction.
Its hard to look back and remember these things but I am grateful to have the memories and the pictures. It shows me how far I have come. Its is seriously by Gods grace that I have any life at all.
I regret nothing as long as I have learned from it.
I regret nothing as long as I can help others with what I have learned.
at 1:19 PM