My oldest, My youngest.

I have many emotions running through me this evening. I'm feeling reflective...especially after reading this. How can you not be reflective after reading Rebekah's words?

My sweet Chelsea turns fourteen in a few days. I cant help but think back to how it all began. A few indiscretions with the love of my life and a sweet baby girl was conceived...inside a girl at the young age of nineteen....me!

This Saturday is her true birthday. We will celebrate in an extra ordinary way this year. The thing is...my oldest turns fourteen this weekend...and my youngest comes home.

Yes, I know. Its not his home anymore, but it was his home for nearly ten months. The last time Ty was here I was so nervous. I was afraid of over stepping my boundaries with Rebekah and Ben and doing something to make them think I was going to change my mind. I was afraid to kiss the baby to much thinking it would make it harder to say good bye. Afraid afraid afraid. I'm not afraid this time. There is no reason to be. I am comfortable with my relationship with Rebekah and I know that she and Ben are not going to care if I kiss their son to death. Well, they might care if I kissed him to death but you know what I mean. LOL

So, in preparation for this most amazing weekend of celebrating my oldest...and my youngest...I reflect and often wonder...will he know my voice? Will he feel comfortable with me holding him or even want me to hold him at all? How will the older kids feel? Will I cry when I first see him? I know I am crying now just thinking about it.

It doesn't matter I guess. I'm easily a "go with the flow" kind of person. I expect baby Ty to not really want to be held by strangers...because we are just that...strangers. But, as the years go by, we will become less of strangers to him and more familiar faces...so it doesn't bother me.

I cant wait to share with all of you the joy I am about to experience this weekend. It will be one of the best weekends of my life. Stay tuned!!!!

Cystic Fibrosis

I have spent the morning crying my eyes out for Eva, who just this week, passed away from Cystic Fibrosis. What an amazing lady and an amazingly hard journey she endured.

I work at an orthodontics office. I see lots of kids pass through the doors every day. But, there is one patient in particular that warms my heart. I wont give her name or to many details about her but I will say that she has CF. One of her long time wishes was to have straight teeth before she dies. So, that is what her parents are giving her at the young age of about ten years old.....straight teeth. These precious children only have a life span of about 25 years or less. Can you imagine knowing that you were only going to live about twenty years? Can you imagine being the parents? It breaks my heart.

I will be thinking about sweet Eva today who is not with us anymore. I will be hugging my kids harder today, and spreading the message that Eva wanted everyone to know.....love love love. I'm sad for her today. I'm sad for her parents and family and friends.

What a horrible disease.

Finally!!

Lots of updates to update but...

I want to talk about this first. I finally was able to find all the ingredients to make home made laundry soap. I don't get many opportunities to be Martha Stuart so I made it a goal to at least try it in this area.

I got the recipe from Rebekah and my friend Kriss, but Kriss's blog is private so I wont link her.

Here are some pictures of me and the kiddos REALLY enjoying ourselves making our own laundry soap.

These are all my ingredients. I got everything from Wal-mart except the washing soda. I looked far and wide for it and finally had to get it at King Soopers.

Here is the recipe:

12 cups Borax
8 cups Baking Soda
8 cups Washing Soda
8 cups grated Bar Soap

Mix ingredients well
Use 1/8 cup of powder per full load. I wasn't sure how many boxes this would take so I just bought one box of each and about eight bars of soap. What the recipe really called for was one box of Borax, two boxes of Washing soda and Baking soda and about four bars of soap. Now you will have left over Baking and Washing soda but it uses all of the Borax.


Everyone wanted to help.

Even Skyler although he mostly just wanted to make a mess of the white powder. Can you see how onrey he is?

Matthew just got over strep throat but he still wanted to help out.

Here is Chelsea grating the bar soap and rocking out to her IPOD. Victoria came down and said..."Why are you grating white cheese."

Here I am mixing it all together with a fork. Yes you heard me right...a fork...but that's all I could find in the moment...I just moved remember?

This is the final product. This entire bin is filled to the top.


We had so much fun believe it or not. I had to quickly get the fallen soap peices off the floor because for some reason my dog thought they were tasty. Sheesh!!!

We are officially moved. Moving day was hectic and fun and overwelming. We are still not all unpacked yet. I think by this weekend I will be done for the most part.

Today marks the first day we had hot water in the shower. Its a brand new shower but it was not spitting out hot water. Every other faucet in the house was but not the shower. I called them today and told them that it wasnt funny anymore. I politly told them that my children were starting to stink and I was sure the school was going to call me and banish me to the mother with dirty stinky children prison. The lady started laughing and said she understood. When I came home today from work....WALA we had hot water. We had an assembly line to the shower. Now if they would only fix the burners on the stove then we would have a complete home.

sigh

We are forever greatful. Ill do a video soon of the house. Its adorable. The kids are REALLY loving the freedom they have to ride their bikes through the neighborhood. Mommy loves the exercise they are getting by walking to school. We live to close to the school for the kids to qualify for a bus ride. Chelsea officially walks a mile and a half to school. She doesnt mind and seems to like the exercise and quiet time. The little kids also love the independence of walking to and fro to school (all .56 miles LOL).

My job is going good for now. We have a great new house and an AWESOME new garage.

Check out this video of moving day. What a mess!!!!!

Saying goodbye.

Almost three years ago the excitement was in the air. Me and the children were about to embark on a journey of independence. We had depended on family for quite some time, and they were gracious enough to let us live with them. For some, moving into an apartment would not be a happy choice, but for us it symbolized so much. It meant that we didn't have to depend on anybody else anymore. We could make our own choices and live with our own decisions. It was just us.

It was a small apartment at only 1100 square feet but it backed right up to a very spacious playground and swimming pool. The girls were to share a room and the boys were to share a room. Just the feeling of being able to stretch out and be ourselves was unbelievable.

Almost three years later we are leaving our beloved apartment. Its sad for me. It should be easy but I find myself getting anxious about going. It was here in these parking lots that I met Ty's birth father. It was here that Ty grew for almost ten months in my belly. This is the living room that I sat in all those nights and watched him roll around in my belly. After giving birth to Ty it was this empty apartment I came home to....empty womb....sad heart. It was this very room that I sit in as I type this that I morned the loss of my sweet baby. And it was this place that I finally said good bye to Rebekah and Ben and sweet baby Ty the day they left Colorado.
Leaving the apartment doesn't bother me....its the memories that do. Living here was both a blessing and a curse. I didn't "get" what apartment life meant. I was very naive and trusting. I have learned so much and grown wiser the past almost three year. I wouldn't take any of it back. It all led me to Tyrus and his wonderful parents.

Our new town home will bring fun times and new memories. It will be there that I can reunite with the baby I let go almost nine months ago. I look forward to meeting him again....but as much as I want to hug him and kiss his sweet toes, what will also make my heart soar is when I once again get to put my arms around his mom and dad. I miss them so much.

I got the keys!!!

My plan paid off. I got my keys today and we got to fully inspect our new diggs. The kids were really hungry so we didnt get to spend much time there, but here are a few pictures to show you what we found.

This is one of my favorite things. I have missed having an outside faucet. Whats a girl to do if she needs to wash out her trash cans? Ill be purchasing a hose very soon.

Here is Skyler in the master bathroom. He has seen a towel rack before. Not sure why this one was so interesting.

The view from both the kids rooms. It was a beautiful day.

This is the upstairs hallway. To the left is the master bathroom and my bedroom, and to the right are the boys and girls room.

Chelsea was very hungry and trying not to be grumpy. I guess the bathtub was comfy?

Here is our powder room down stairs. LOL It makes me laugh. At least you know that you will never fall asleep on the toilet with all the wild color.

We did bring some dirty laundry so we could try out the washer. I was very very impressed.

Matt and Skyler enjoying the stairs.

Me in my retro bathroom having fun.

And finally, we just couldnt let the jeep be all alone outside. We had to let it visit its new home as well. Doesnt it fit just nice?


Well moving day is Saturday. I officially have one day to get ready. My internet gets cut off here tomorrow and gets hooked up at the new place on Sunday. We just have to get through one more night. Tomorrow is busy busy busy!!!!!!

THE TOILET IS OVERFLOWING!!!

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I felt like work was great. Chelsea started her new school and loves it. I felt like it could be the beginning of some better times for us. I was talking to my boss yesterday and I was telling her that things were going so smoothly with the move that I almost feel like I should prepare myself for something bad to happen. She just looked at me like I was crazy and told me that God was just taking care of us. I agreed and went back to work.

I picked up Skyler after work and drove home. As I was walking through the halls of my apartment building I noticed that water was coming from my storage room and I thought "oh great another leak, I better call maintenance."

I got in the house and everything looked fine. The babysitter was glad to see me and I was happy to be home and visit with her. I called the office and let them know that something was leaking although I could see no signs of leakage at the time.

Within five minutes of hanging up the phone with the manager, water was starting to pour into my kitchen.

Have you ever been in a flood? No? Yes? My answer would have been no.....YESTERDAY!!! I have now been in a flood. I walked into my room and I was two inches deep in water. It had flooded both my bathrooms, my entire bedroom and was traveling down the hallway. Skyler thought it was funny and started running and splashing and making boy noises. Matt and Victoria switched into high gear and started moving all the boxes from my room to the living room. I splashed my way to the bathroom and saw water just pouring out of the toilet. I reached down and turned the water off.

I was in shock. I have cleaned up water messes before...but this was different. This was the kind of water that you would see at a public pool. Skyler was still splashing through the TOILET water...Matt now thinks the chaos is fun and starts walking back and forth. Chelsea wants nothing to do with it and goes to her DRY room. Now I'm crying. I cant believe my four year old is splashing through my house like he is at a public pool. I turn around and see the maintance man looking at me with pitty in his eyes. I send Skyler to Chelseas room and tell her to turn on a movie and NOT to let him out.

The maintenance man was overwhelmed with all the water so he called the carpet cleaning people to come in a hurry and help. His little shot vac was not going to do the trick this time.

The flood was eventually contained. LOL The carpet guy showed up within fifteen to twenty minutes and did an amazing job. He left us with a dehumidifier as well as about five commercial fans. The carpet is nearly dry now amazingly enough.

Words fail me this morning. I cant believe that this happened. I am fairly sure that one of my children (while I was coming home from work) went to the bathroom, flushed and ran out the door failing to notice that the toilet was flooding over. Of course nobody did it. "Nobody" is our sixth family member by the way. He shows up quite often and I am just grateful to have someone to pin the blame on. "Nobody" gets in trouble quite a bit. (sigh)

Just this past weekend I spent all my laundry money on cleaning the clothes. I was excited because I felt like it would be the last time I would have to do laundry here at the apartments. Boy was I wrong. When the flood happened I was left with lots of soaking wet towels and bath mats and clothes. Frustrated does not explain how I felt.

As I was moving things out of my room to clear the floor so that the carpet man could suck the water up...I noticed a laundry card on the floor of my closet. We don't use quarters here...our money is put on a credit card of sorts. So I found one...one that I had lost a while ago and I thought "Dear Lord, help there to be money on here." Much to my surprise....there was eight dollars on the card. So in the midst of all the chaos...God sent me a rose in the form of a laundry card. Thank you Jesus that was able to wash all my toilet water laundry last night.

So the craziness continues. I will look back some day and laugh. I might even laugh about it today at work. Who knows....right now...I'm just thankful to have semi dry carpet.

This morning!

This morning I woke up to the sweet sound of silence. Its my favorite time of the day because its just me. I make my coffee and sit in front of the computer and catch up on my favorite blogs and visit facebook. Skyler wakes up shortly after I do. Much due to the fact that his bladder is talking to him. I'm so thankful he wakes up and goes to the bathroom now. I am forever thankful to finally be done with diapers.

Walking through my appartment today shows me how much I have to do. Here is what I noticed as I looked around...

Skyler eating his strawberry breakfast bars. This is a new thing by the way. Please take note of his painted fingernails AGAIN. I really wish Chelsea would stop doing this.

Maggie sleeping in her bed.

The girls sleeping peacefully in their bed. Notice that Chelsea chose her brothers spider man sheets and the fact that NONE of our bedding matches. We dont care, it keeps us warm and it is quite colorful. LOL

I turn around and here is the girls wonderful packing and stacking job. This is their closet. Nice hugh? I didn't help them a bit...they did this all by themselves.

The boys room and Matthew's attempt at packing...

Dirty dishes in the sink. Can you see my painted counter tops?

Ty's sweet handprints on my cork board. Hand prints that represent the REAL thing coming to visit me in about four weeks. I cant wait.

Matthew sleeping peacefully on the couch.

And boxes....

boxes...

everyware!!!!

So if we are lucky (which I don't believe in luck), we will make it to church this morning and try and clean up this mess.

Just making it real!!

And for your viewing pleasure. Check out Chelsea's new mouth piece. It is our first attempt at correcting her complete cross bite. We click it every night and it spreads her pallet.

Oh no you didnt!?!?!?!?

Yesterday was my day off. I was looking forward to getting all the kids off to school and spending the day at home with Skyler packing and just enjoying the day. I love my Fridays. So, that's how it went, I got the kids up, sent them off to the bus, and started packing. It was a nice quiet day. The only time I left the house was to run to the kids NEW schools and register them. I was gone about an hour and a half.

Around two forty five the two middle kids came home and around four o'clock my sister came over. She had a fun girls sleepover planned and stopped by to pick up the girls. We waited for Chelsea's bus (the thirteen year old) to get there, but the bus came and went and Chelsea was not on it. I thought for sure that we missed her, that she HAD to have made it off the bus and if she didn't then she would call me soon telling me she missed the bus.....but none of this happened.

I started to get worried. I was home all day and she wasn't with me and I was sure she WENT to the bus stop this morning even though I didn't see her get on the bus. (the bus is just across the playground from my apartment)

I decided that it was just to fishy so I called the school. The phone rang and the vice principle answered the phone. We are on a first name basis now this year (sigh).

Me: Hello, this is Chelsea's mom. She didn't get off the bus today can you look around and see if she is there with you?

VP: Well I didn't see her at lunch today let me check the attendance chart..(pause while she is looking)...OK I can see that she was not at school today. She was marked absent. I'm so sorry.

Me: (nearly in tears and now in panic mode) Well what do I do? Do I call the cops. I cant imagine where she would be for more then eight hours all day.

VP: Actually, calling the cops wont do any thing because they will not file a missing persons report until she is gone for 24 hours. Maybe you could wait until about six o'clock to call. Usually they come home by then because they are hungry for dinner.

Me: (really panicking now and just really annoyed at the police policy) OK Ill go and call her friends.

VP: OK but please call me and let me know if she shows up. I'm so sorry.

So, I get off the phone, in tears, wondering what to do. I have all these visions of really bad things going through my head. What if she ditched school and got abducted? What if she is having sex with some boy?

As soon as I turn the corner from my room I hear "Chelsea get in here." I run out to the living room and there she is (at five o'clock in the evening) right outside the porch. The look on her face was a tell all.

We managed to get her in the house. She had ditched with her friend. They just decided they didn't want to go to school so they walked around town ALL DAY LONG. That's more then eight hours of just walking around town. No food no water...just wandering around town. She said she had fun and she wasn't sorry she did it. She went on to say that she tries to be a good girl but its just to hard.

I took her makeup away and grounded her but the drama didn't end there. She was very mad at me and pulled the dad card again. Every time she is mad at me she goes to her dad and begs him to buy plane tickets for her so she can live with him and be an only child. PPLLLEEAAASSEEE!!! Can you say DRAMA????? Honestly, I am sick of this. I am tired of the little games she plays. I told her that going to live with her dad was NOT an option and she better BUCK up and grow up because she is going to get expelled from school and end up doing eighth grade again.

The worst part is that now she has her dad all confused. He desperately wants her to come live with him but he knows I don't agree with separating the kids. I want him to understand that she is just growing up and going through all these phases. I think his heart just hurts because he misses them. Its just not in the kids best interest to be separated. I refuse to do it. Here are a few reasons that Chelsea (just last night) says are the reasons she wants to live with her dad:

1. She can listen to any music she wants to, even if it has cussing in it.
2. She can accidentally cuss in front of her dad and he doesn't mind.
3. Her dads wife will let Chelsea do virtually ANYTHING she wants.
4. She will be an only child.

I think she has a very deranged view of what life would be like at her dads. She has only spent a month or two at a time with him since she was four years old. What she fails to realize is that if she was living with him full time...things would not be much different then here.

So, beyond all the drama of my pre-teens and teens, the count down continues to moving day. I am SUPER excited. We move on the 13th. I cant wait to get the kids out of these schools. I cant wait to get out of this STINKING neighborhood. I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!

My new strategy: To take my rent and pet deposit down to the property management company early and see if I can get the key to my new place early. We will see if it works.

GOOD NEWS!!

WE GOT THE TOWNHOME. We were approved just today. More to come. Now Im off to pack and call the electric company and find people to help me move!!!! Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. WE ARE SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!