My oldest, My youngest.

I have many emotions running through me this evening. I'm feeling reflective...especially after reading this. How can you not be reflective after reading Rebekah's words?

My sweet Chelsea turns fourteen in a few days. I cant help but think back to how it all began. A few indiscretions with the love of my life and a sweet baby girl was conceived...inside a girl at the young age of nineteen....me!

This Saturday is her true birthday. We will celebrate in an extra ordinary way this year. The thing is...my oldest turns fourteen this weekend...and my youngest comes home.

Yes, I know. Its not his home anymore, but it was his home for nearly ten months. The last time Ty was here I was so nervous. I was afraid of over stepping my boundaries with Rebekah and Ben and doing something to make them think I was going to change my mind. I was afraid to kiss the baby to much thinking it would make it harder to say good bye. Afraid afraid afraid. I'm not afraid this time. There is no reason to be. I am comfortable with my relationship with Rebekah and I know that she and Ben are not going to care if I kiss their son to death. Well, they might care if I kissed him to death but you know what I mean. LOL

So, in preparation for this most amazing weekend of celebrating my oldest...and my youngest...I reflect and often wonder...will he know my voice? Will he feel comfortable with me holding him or even want me to hold him at all? How will the older kids feel? Will I cry when I first see him? I know I am crying now just thinking about it.

It doesn't matter I guess. I'm easily a "go with the flow" kind of person. I expect baby Ty to not really want to be held by strangers...because we are just that...strangers. But, as the years go by, we will become less of strangers to him and more familiar faces...so it doesn't bother me.

I cant wait to share with all of you the joy I am about to experience this weekend. It will be one of the best weekends of my life. Stay tuned!!!!