Do you ever find yourself driving down the road and glance in the rear view mirror to count all the children just to make sure you have not left anyone behind? I have never left any of my kids but that doesn't stop me from looking back once twice sometimes three times. Obsessive I know. You can never be to sure though.
I watched a movie tonight called "motherhood." Perfect movie to describe how you so easily loose yourself when you become a mom. Of course I use the words "lose yourself" loosely because its not necessarily a bad thing but you do feel a little like Alice in Wonderland while its happening. The movie really hit home for me. I felt like the mom in the movie was me, but in reality it plays into every busy mom out there.
The moral of the story was that we all want the best for our kids. We would do anything for them even sacrificing the things we aspire to be or do for a time until we can pick it back up when they are old enough.
Ive been thinking a lot this weekend. Mostly I have been stewing to be honest. I have so many things I would like to say here on this blog. Should a blog be only about happy things? Should we be able to say things that we feel passionate about? I believe the answers are no and yes! I grew up feeling like I always had to put on the happy face. It was important to make sure everyone felt comfortable and for goodness sake don't step on any ones toes. I don't think that is a very realistic way to live. The truth is, there are hard times to be had. Thank God there are also good times to be had and I want to blog about all of them. I'm tired of living my life concerned about what this person will think about me or how they will feel. Yes of course I want to be sensitive to people and I most certainly want to show love through my words, but when it comes to the TRUTH, I don't want to be silent anymore because I'm afraid of what people will think of me. The only one that truly matters is God. He is the only one who knows the condition of my heart.
I feel a battle going on in my life and my children's lives. It is a spiritual battle behind the scenes but a true life battle that I am watching like a play on a stage. I am going to fight it. Ill do whatever it takes to win. Giving up is not an option, being TOLERANT is not an option. (by the way I have grown to HATE that word tolerant, but thats for a different post) My kids and their futures are at stake. So on I fight. Does it ever end? I feel like my whole life is a big huge fight.
Im not sure how to end this post. So Ill end it here.
The other Rebekah!!
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9 comments:
Rebekah,
I have been on vacation and just got to reading through your posts. I cannot believe how hateful people have been to you to attack your life just because you expressed an opinion about something they do not agree with. Ouch! That is just not right. Women can be so MEAN. They hide behind a computer screen because that gives them safety to say whatever they want no matter how utterly rude, obnoxious, and hateful it is. Shame on them. I hope they have a hard time sleeping at night treating someone in that way.
Anyway...keep on speaking the truth. Who cares if you lose readers. This isn't a popularity contest. *We*..those of us who get you and all your flaws and gifts, will still be here.
It is so easy to squash down our voice because of fear of what others may think, or fear of being judged, or ridiculed etc. I will welcome the sound of your voice. Shout it out R!
I would just like to say I totally agree with you. Use your voice. I respect single mom's, I know there job is super tough. Churches need to embrace them more, ours does.
Im enjoying your boldness....I will be here watching and listening....Love you!
I'm all for saying it like it is, but then again, in a bloggin sense, nobody comments on mine, good or bad. :) OH well. So my vote is say what you want to say. Life's not always raimbows and butterflies.
OH, and I think I should finally tell you that you keep misspellling 'lose' (like you lost weight or lost your shoe, you lose your marbles) whereas 'loose' is something my pants have not been in many many years. Well, I probably don't "have" to tell you that, but I guess I just did. I'm one of those grammar/spelling nuts, and sometimes I just.. I just... well, I just have to tell ya. :D In love and good will, of coarse. **bats eyelashes**
Rebekah,
You are truly a great warrior for God. God's people will always speak His truth no matter what others may think. And the truth is, others admire that because it gives them hope. They know it is the truth that will set them free whether they want to admitt it or not.
Is there going to be hard times? Of course, and the more you stand for God the harder it gets. but remember, "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world." If there was no fight in you to stand for the truth, that's when there is a real problem. You see Satan will not cast out Satan. It's because you are for God the fight is there, so keep fighting and never give up. God will bless all His warriors.
If you get a chance check out my newly release bllk titled "The Sword and the Spear" I take readers through everday events that will cause them to choose to either stay defeated by the
Spear of Satan or to become mighty warriors, standing on the truth by swinging the Sword of God.
http://bit.ly/cfz9s2
Oh, "All My Monkeys", you're spelling "course" wrong. You did it a few times on your blog too. No hate here, just found it ironic that a grammar/spelling nut didn't catch that one.
God didn't call us to be tolerant. He called us to be light and love. Keep loving your kids and pleading with God on their behalf. Don't give up, friend, you haven't lost them.
Just found your blog. Wanted to tell you, you rock. Keep on speaking your opinion and raising your kids for God. I love your approach and your honesty. God bless.
By the way, I'm an adoptive mom. We met the birth mother. I cannot express for you the love that I have for any woman who would carry a child for nine months, knowing all along that the best option for that child was to place them for adoption. Now that's love.
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