Monday, January 24, 2011

Skype and Ty!!

I got to talk to Tyrus on Skype this weekend. It was so precious to see him moving and talking at the same time. Every time I get a picture or a new hand tracing in the mail, I look at the pictures a hundred times, and I trace his sweet little hand with my finger, and I cherish them...but somehow seeing him in real life is priceless to me. I'm loving Skype!!! Thanks Rebekah!

Things seem to be almost normal around here...if you can call my life normal (which I wouldn't). I guess what I mean is we are falling into a routine. I still feel like my head is swimming with all the changes in my life but I'm dealing with it and the fog is lifting.

Most of the time everyone is very supportive around here. The comments I get are uplifting and very encouraging. Thank you everyone!! I don't post all the comments. I get a few really negative ones that I know were just meant to take hits at my person...and I figure that nobody else needs to read them. So to those who are mean to me through their words...thank you for being honest. I do take your words with a grain of salt though. Until you have lived in my shoes, I suggest you do not judge my life choices.

Good or bad, I welcome all the comments. I'm trying to be true to myself, honest with myself, real with myself...and sometimes it can look really ugly when you really look at your own heart. Its filled with nasty ugly things that you would rather hide. I'm so grateful that God is bigger then my sin and all my ugliness. I'm so glad that HE lives inside me and that what people can see is the joy that floods out of me that only comes from God. I'm truly nothing without HIM! The more the years go by that scripture that says "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" comes to a BLARING reality for me. I struggle with guilt for the things I do wrong, and then I remember the scriptures and the promises they offer me and I am held at peace that I am still loved despite my sinful nature.

I'm still growing and maturing. When you are little you think "If only I was a grown up" and then you become a "grown up" and you realize that your really not yet grown on the inside. Life is sure a process of learning and living and falling down and getting up....and growing old and wise. I'm not afraid to get long as I'm wise to go with the old. I don't want to grow old alone though so I sure hope I can find a HOT guy to get old with. LOL Yeah Yeah!!!! I know!!! I'm a fruit cake...but I'm just keeping it real.

Later gator!!!


Leah said...

I'm sorry you receive some negative comments. I also blog and once in a while I get the random negative comment as well. I try not to focus on it too much. We people who blog let people into a window of our lives. You can't get a complete picture without truly knowing us in person, so I really wish people would be less judgmental.

I'm glad you're falling into a routing, and hope things get better.

Anonymous said...

i almost cried when reading your comments about emotions welled up like I was gonna sob... crazy.... I love you so much woman!!!! I will never ever ever be able to express how proud of you I am and how In love I am with you (does that sound weird?) I think about you and the kids often and I pray for you as well...I will always look up to you little are a freakin super hero in my eyes!!!