Saturday, March 6, 2010

Oh no you didnt!?!?!?!?

Yesterday was my day off. I was looking forward to getting all the kids off to school and spending the day at home with Skyler packing and just enjoying the day. I love my Fridays. So, that's how it went, I got the kids up, sent them off to the bus, and started packing. It was a nice quiet day. The only time I left the house was to run to the kids NEW schools and register them. I was gone about an hour and a half.

Around two forty five the two middle kids came home and around four o'clock my sister came over. She had a fun girls sleepover planned and stopped by to pick up the girls. We waited for Chelsea's bus (the thirteen year old) to get there, but the bus came and went and Chelsea was not on it. I thought for sure that we missed her, that she HAD to have made it off the bus and if she didn't then she would call me soon telling me she missed the bus.....but none of this happened.

I started to get worried. I was home all day and she wasn't with me and I was sure she WENT to the bus stop this morning even though I didn't see her get on the bus. (the bus is just across the playground from my apartment)

I decided that it was just to fishy so I called the school. The phone rang and the vice principle answered the phone. We are on a first name basis now this year (sigh).

Me: Hello, this is Chelsea's mom. She didn't get off the bus today can you look around and see if she is there with you?

VP: Well I didn't see her at lunch today let me check the attendance chart..(pause while she is looking)...OK I can see that she was not at school today. She was marked absent. I'm so sorry.

Me: (nearly in tears and now in panic mode) Well what do I do? Do I call the cops. I cant imagine where she would be for more then eight hours all day.

VP: Actually, calling the cops wont do any thing because they will not file a missing persons report until she is gone for 24 hours. Maybe you could wait until about six o'clock to call. Usually they come home by then because they are hungry for dinner.

Me: (really panicking now and just really annoyed at the police policy) OK Ill go and call her friends.

VP: OK but please call me and let me know if she shows up. I'm so sorry.

So, I get off the phone, in tears, wondering what to do. I have all these visions of really bad things going through my head. What if she ditched school and got abducted? What if she is having sex with some boy?

As soon as I turn the corner from my room I hear "Chelsea get in here." I run out to the living room and there she is (at five o'clock in the evening) right outside the porch. The look on her face was a tell all.

We managed to get her in the house. She had ditched with her friend. They just decided they didn't want to go to school so they walked around town ALL DAY LONG. That's more then eight hours of just walking around town. No food no water...just wandering around town. She said she had fun and she wasn't sorry she did it. She went on to say that she tries to be a good girl but its just to hard.

I took her makeup away and grounded her but the drama didn't end there. She was very mad at me and pulled the dad card again. Every time she is mad at me she goes to her dad and begs him to buy plane tickets for her so she can live with him and be an only child. PPLLLEEAAASSEEE!!! Can you say DRAMA????? Honestly, I am sick of this. I am tired of the little games she plays. I told her that going to live with her dad was NOT an option and she better BUCK up and grow up because she is going to get expelled from school and end up doing eighth grade again.

The worst part is that now she has her dad all confused. He desperately wants her to come live with him but he knows I don't agree with separating the kids. I want him to understand that she is just growing up and going through all these phases. I think his heart just hurts because he misses them. Its just not in the kids best interest to be separated. I refuse to do it. Here are a few reasons that Chelsea (just last night) says are the reasons she wants to live with her dad:

1. She can listen to any music she wants to, even if it has cussing in it.
2. She can accidentally cuss in front of her dad and he doesn't mind.
3. Her dads wife will let Chelsea do virtually ANYTHING she wants.
4. She will be an only child.

I think she has a very deranged view of what life would be like at her dads. She has only spent a month or two at a time with him since she was four years old. What she fails to realize is that if she was living with him full time...things would not be much different then here.

So, beyond all the drama of my pre-teens and teens, the count down continues to moving day. I am SUPER excited. We move on the 13th. I cant wait to get the kids out of these schools. I cant wait to get out of this STINKING neighborhood. I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!

My new strategy: To take my rent and pet deposit down to the property management company early and see if I can get the key to my new place early. We will see if it works.


Kay said...

urrrrgggg, man I would have freaked out. I have a 13 yr old daughter and she doesn't see her dad so I can understand completely. Man, the teen years are for the hard core and I'm not quite hard core yet. Hang in there, HUGS

Annjeri said...

I am so sorry that this is happening sis. It is a huge disappointment that she did this, but I agree with you on all the above. I cannot wait to get involved with Young Life. Sheesh.

birthmothertalks said...

Don't do it. I was going through the same thing with my teenage son and I let him go with his Dad. It's the same town and all, but seperating the boys has been hard. They see each other every weekend and then some, but they tend to fight more, because they are used to their own space now.

jodilee0123 said...

I can not wait until my kids are teens! Just kidding. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job--keep up the good work. I have no idea what I would have done!

krousehouse said...

I totally used to do the same thing to my mom, tell her I would just go live with my dad. She called my bluff and said, "Ok" and then described what that would be like, really...I changed my mind fast.

Elly said...

you should know that the 24 hr police missing persons rule only applies to ADULTS. if that happens again you can and should report her missing to the police immediately. they may (likely) treat it as a runaway case, but you really do need to report it as soon as you find out.

mak'n Changes said...

Ouch Becky! I think I may have let my hands do the talking all over Obi's hind end (I don't care the age) if he did that. Of course I've never been a mom and at this point I'm All talk. when I worked in the girls group homes we would take there make up, hair spray, curling irons, hair straighteners, and sometimes they'd have to wear the same outfit every day (washed daily) for a week, when they would ditch school. Girls are rough! Sorry you're going thru it with her.
Love u bek!

Baby Wanted said...

I'm sorry! But in her defense, I have done the same thing as a kid and didn't regret it one bit. It is almost liberating at that age to make a big decision like that even if it is STUPID!

Her wanting to live with her dad is another story. Her reasons are silly. She thinks life will be better there and the poor kid will be dissapointed...I give her 2 weeks tops! How about a visit to go see her dad since she misses him?

Hang in there! Hugs!

Laurel said...

You have your hands full. Maybe the move could bring you all together and bring some healing to Chelsea? Sounds like she's overwhelmed and just pushing you and testing the limits. Just love her harder...and keep rules in place. CAN call the police...anytime! You can always call them and at least file the info. They may not make an official report (for an adult), but they do take the info and can distribute it to the officers who are on the roads.

You'll be in my prayers tonight - xo

Faith said...

Wow! I'm SO glad she is home and safe! I just found your blog after reading the other Rebekah's story many times. I was hoping and wishing I would find you in blogworld:). I have read your story and am so in awe of the strength and wisdom you have. I'll keep following:). Oh, and by the way, not sure if you know, but there is a NASTY comment on the June 22 post of the you delete those? Phew, some people are...well, you know....
Your story will always be in my heart...

sarah said...

Elly has it right. Chelsea is a CHILD. The first 24 hours in a missing childs case are considered the best time to find them. After that, the odds they are dead increases dramatically. The 24 hour rule applies to adults only. If it happens again, the SECOND you realize she's missing, CALL THE POLICE.

You might want to tell your stupid effing VP of that little fact, because holy hell, that stupid idiot is in charge of multiple children. That pissed me off!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it would be good for her to go live with her father. The kids are already separated, the youngest is gone. It must be really tough for her coping with that. Of course it's up to you what happens you are her mother and know best.