I don't like having such drastic change in my life. When I got fired I literally started to hyperventilate from the thoughts that went through my head. Of course it all revolved around money. Isn't that what its all about? Money! I don't like the stuff that much, except that we have to have it to survive these days. Unfortunately, the electric company does not take baked goods in exchange for services. (sheesh, go figure!)
Change does bring some good things. The absence of a job in my life has caused me to stand still and look around. The hustle and bustle of keeping track of four kids, as well as trying to keep track of myself (I get lost quite often LOL) pulls me deeper and deeper into a confused whirlwind. With so much time on my hands I can take a step back, breathe, breathe again, and then sort out what went wrong. This change has given me time to refocus.
My older three kids will be home in a little over four weeks. Believe it or not it will take that long to prepare for their home coming. Things will change for them. Its not only time for me to refocus on things that matter, but they will need to step up and be more responsible. If you read my post here on homosexuality in young kids lives, you will understand some of the road we have traveled this past year. Of course that post did bring a lot of opinions to the surface. The bottom line is, love me or hate me, this is how I want to raise my kids. Things will be changing!
So as I spend LOTS of time scouring Craigslist for job openings, preparing for the kids homecoming, and hugging on my four year old....I am eternally thankful to God who has brought me this far. My termination from my job (at the time) seemed like a curse, but as many of you have commented, I have come to realize that it was a blessing I could not have foreseen. Around every corner I see God. My life very much mirrors the poem "Footprints in the sand."
Letting God carry me through this storm will be my key to survival.