Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Late night thoughts.

I should be sleeping, or exercising, or something other then blogging, but I cant take my thoughts off a few comments that were made here.

Sarah thinks I should mind my own business and keep my kids away from other kids that do things I don't agree with. I don't go to other peoples houses and just tattle on their kids. I genuinely care about all children and when I see one doing something that I think might potentially hurt them then I feel obligated to at least tell their parents. Didn't parents used to stand together? Didn't we used to have communities of people that would band together to make our children's lives better? Now we find dead children in basements or crawl spaces because, and Ill quote Sarah "its none of our business what other peoples children do." Well call me a nosy busybody if you want to, as a matter of fact call me whatever names you can think of, I don't care. As long as I live I will do what I can to advocate for children until I cant anymore, and for goodness sake, if you see my child stealing something from a store or smoking a cigarette I hope you will by all means butt your little self into my business and come and tell me. THANKYOUVERYMUCH!

Oh and by the way Sarah...thank you so much for posting a comment and being bold enough to actually put your name behind it. I have lots of respect for you.

GibsonTwins was also one of the ones I wanted to respond to. Unfortunately she did not allow us to see her profile. She pointed out that I live in a "low income" neighborhood. In fact I live in such a poor low income neighborhood that I pay nearly nine hundred dollars a month for rent all on my own without assistance. The truth is, you can live in the richest neighborhood in town and you will most likely have a crack head or a drunk living next door to you just like me, the only difference is that you have more money than me but you are NO DIFFERENT then us poor folk. Low income, middle class, upper class, it doesn't matter. We all have ten toes and two legs, and addictions, and temptations. Money doesn't define who we are, its what is inside. Your ignorance makes me sick. There is nothing wrong with spending time with the sick and hurting. I am not afraid to be near pot heads or drunks. I don't engage in their activities, but they are the heart of God, and where the heart of God is...I want to be. You mock Christians by saying that we are "great comedy" yet you hide behind a name. Your comments make me think you are angry with people like me. Is it because I speak my mind? Or is it because I don't believe the way you believe? Or maybe its simply because you don't understand me or you are unable to see another persons (rich or poor) point of view? I don't have the answer. I hope you find peace.

I wont stop fighting for these kids that I feel have been so failed by society. So much hurt, so much madness, no peace. I wish they could know peace. This boy next door that smokes is no different then my children or yours....he just has an unhealthy mom. I just figured that If I could help her, then I could help the kids. That's all.

Peace out! (I'm totally not a rapper)


mak'n Changes said...

Right on! You're right.....shame on America for not getting involved in eachothers lives. Way to be bold and powerful with your words. Sorry you are getting heckled for your stand, You are amazing for loving children the way you do..
Oh......and way to leave the room with a funny "non rapper" Peace Out....Ha! Made me laugh.

~Katie said...

I agree R! We should all be looking out for one anothers children. It takes a village!

Annjeri said...

You go sis, love ya. ;-)

LL said...

R, I have been reading your posts but not commenting. Been meaning to though!

First of all you are so right. When we were growing up I don't think our parents had the same concerns or worries or crisis that are facing us as parents today. My mom would always worry about kidnapping and she would keep a tight reign on us. SHe always knew where we were, who we were with. Today, we have the easy access of the internet, we have more violent video games, we have cell phones and sexting...we have so many more ways for kids to get high (huffing), we have the choking game. I think you were totally in the right to let the mom of the boy know that he is smoking. Too bad she didn't see it that way. Anything that a child does in your child's prescence is YOUR buisiness and you have every single right to not be ok with it, and notify the parents of the other child. And upper class, middle class, whatever class, doesn't have anything to do with it. The problems facing our kids, us as parents are in every single class of society.

If we don't watch out for our kids...who will?

Mama2aMiracle said...

AMEN! I would soo want you to be my neighbor! What (good) mom wouldn't want an extra set of eyes to watch her children when she might not be able to?!? I would soo hope that someone would come tell me if my child was up to no good. I feel so sorry for the two people that commented such hate to you...It's people like that that really upset me. And believe me...you're so right when you say that there is wrong in every neighborhood. I'd like to think that I live in an upper class subdivision and I tell you what..the family down the street has the police at their house atleast 2 times a month. So money does not make you and better than the next..believe me! hahaha!

Hang in there mama! You're doing a awesome job!!

Lori from TN

Ruby said...

Katie said it perfectly "It takes a village". I have another one: "Ubuntu" It's an African word that means, in short "we are one" Archbishop Desmond Tutu explains it this way "One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu - the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality - Ubuntu - you are known for your generosity.

We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity."

I have been following your blog for a long time (Yes, I'm a stalker...sorry) so I know what you've been going through. But really, it gets better.

Faith said...

Yikes, I don't usually follow comments, but I am blown away by what people will say. Even if I don't agree with ALL of someone's opinions, I respect the heart they are coming from. And I DO agree that I would want another parent to tell me if my child was doing something questionable. While my parenting beliefs may differ from you theirs in some ways, I would always respect the head's up! Parents need to back each other up! As the pervious commenter mentioned, we are NOT individuals floating along in this world - we are a community, and we'd be better off if we acted more like one...

All My Monkeys said...


Andi-bo-bandi said...

Rebekah - you don't need to justify how you live or what you pay for rent. It is no one's business but yours. ;)

Rebekah said...

Love ya. You're a good mom; be confident in who God designed you to be.

I sure didn't appreciate the next door neighbor tattling on me when me and my boyfriend were 14/16 and "necking" at the end of the street (in a parked car). But, now, as a parent (especially a parent of a BOY who will probably be initiating the necking) I would want to know!

Just remember, your kids won't be teenagers FOREVER. They will grow up and out of these phases. Just keep lov'n them and Jesus.

Laurie said...

Just sent you an email about GibsonTwins. You do not want to post any of her comments. Trust me on this.

sarah said...

Wow. So....just because I don't agree with two of your statements, I'm "spewing hate" ?

Pfft. I happen to think most of your life is pretty inspirational. I'm not spewing hate. I'm just letting you know there's a different viewpoint out there.

I just don't agree, and I tend to be upfront, blunt & honest about it. Quite simple, really.

GibsonTwins said...

I don't like the fact you live off the government (one of you early blog posts is to the effect of "I already had four kids and was living on Welfare and so came adoption for the fifth one".)

I do not have any pot heads or drunks that live in my cul de sac, thank you very much. And if I did, I would move. I would not tolerate that behavior, and I certainly would NOT hang out with them even if I thought I was "saving them". No way. You are the company you keep.

"This boy next door that smokes is no different then my children or yours..."
Really? Your kids smoke? Mine at four certainly do not. My kids ARE different from yours: they have parents who are married, white collar professions who have never been fired from a job (how do you manage to get fired from an entry level job anyway??), and they will never be subjected to living near people who you live by. So yeah, thanks for attempting to stereotype.

Laurie said...

Girl, as I said in my email, set comment moderation...tonight. And when GT leaves a comment, DO NOT read it. Delete it. She is a bully and a very bored housewife. She does this all the time to bloggers. She will likely come pick on me just for sticking up for you. That is what bullies do. But I have comment moderation, so anything of hers that happens to have the misfortune of making it to my inbox would be immediately deleted.

Anonymous said...

Wow Brianne (GibsonTwins) -- judge people much? Who made you the judge of Rebekah or anyone else for that matter? You know, people just can't win where you're concerned. For starters, Rebekah does not live off the government. She has a job and works very hard to support her kids. She also realized when pregnant with Ty that she could not give him the upbringing that he deserved. So she gracefully entrusted her son to a couple who could not have children of their own. Was it what she would have chosen for herself or Ty if given the option to change things? No. But she made the best of a very difficult situation and rather than abort the pregnancy she very gracefully blessed an infertile couple with the answer to their prayers. And you somehow find a way to fault her for that? Where would adoptive families be if not for women like Rebekah? When I think back to my four years of infertility treatment, including the last six months when we seriously began to consider adoption, I know that I would have been incredibly blessed if someone like Rebekah learned about my husband's and my desperate wish for a child of our own.

Rebekah has a kind and giving heart and her reporting this boy smoking to his mother was her way of watching out for him. The way you view it she should just completely disengage from these people simply because the mom seems to have some addiction issues. But rather than turn her back on them as most uninvolved Americans would do, instead she stuck her neck out and reached out to the mom to let her know her child was treading dangerous ground. In my opinion that was a very brave and considerate thing to do. How you can give her crap for that is beyond me.

Who do you think you are, anyway? So you have a two income family and live in a cul-de-sac of perfect families? Well, good for you. I happen to as well but that doesn't mean I judge Rebekah harshly for her situation. I give her a hell of a lot of credit for trying to do the best for her kids.

Instead of judging another mother so harshly, perhaps you should look in the mirror and wonder what it is that makes you think it's your role in life to judge another mother and the way she raises her children.

I shudder to think what your poor kids will go through when they make mistakes in their own lives. Will you judge them just as harshly? You seem to require perfection from everyone. I pity your kids when they realize they'll never live up to your expectations.

LeeAnn said...

Amen to SMG0918!!!! You go girl!

Kara said...

Geez, I would not let Gibson Twins leave comments at all. Not sure where she is coming from. Not very productive comments or very nice, even if she doesn't agree with you. I don't always agree with you however one thing I LOVE about you is your ability to see the good in people. (at least at first LOL) Sending you my best wishing and thoughts!

GibsonTwins said...

@ SMG0918

First of all, adoption is not cut out to benefit adoptive families. Adoptive familes are always plan B for the birth mothers/birth family.

Secondly, Rebekah ADMITTED TO BEING A SINGLE MOM TO FOUR CHILDREN ON WELFARE. Go read back a little bit.

Thirdly, we are NOT a two income household. We are a ONE income household and I stay home with our twins. However, we are white collar professionals (I choose not to use my degree that I paid for).

As for my children, they are 100% entitled and they have no worries in life beyond what they would like to do. They will not be subjected to public school systems where these kids from broken homes and messed up lifestyles go. They deserve more than that. I do not judge my children, I praise their good qualities and ignore the less-than-perfect ones.

Rebekah is the one who judges everyone. Just ask her about how she feels about gays. Although I share the belief that being gay is wrong and is a choice not something you're born with, she is still judging that group of people. Her saying that her kids are not trustworthy (you can't trust your 14 yr old to watch younger siblings after school because you're afraid she'll get knocked up??) and then complaining about a pot head's cigarette smoking 15 yr old son is SO hypocritical.

And the one thing I am not is hypocritical.

Anonymous said...


"First of all, adoption is not cut out to benefit adoptive families."

I could never describe in words how amazing and beautiful the gift of adoption is...It is a 'benefit' I am grateful for every second of every day.


Rach said...

Hey, R! I'm a new reader of your blog, and I read your son's a-mama's blog and Andi's blog (sweet life) and found that you commented on it. So of course, I jumped on over here to see what you had to say. :) Anyway, I look forward to reading more from you.

Danielle & Clint said...

I generally don't comment on blogs, but I have been reading yours for a while and I feel like it is time for me to speak up. Who is this "GibsonTwins" character anyway? She absolutely makes my blood boil. She has no right to stand in judgement of you. She may have been born into a more privleaged life than you, but it does not for one second make her any better. She should be grateful and use her resources to reach out to others. That is what God asks of each of his children. Her sense of superiority and entitlement will only cause her to live the same shallow life she has now. How sad it must be to never know the feeling of spiritul growth that comes from loving everyone equally. Rebekah, you are an amazing woman. You have more strength and faith than most people I know. I admire you and your commitment to ALL of your children. Keep doing what you are doing and don't listen to this bully of a woman!

Anonymous said...

Hi Rebekah,

Thank you for having the courage to post GT's comments. I have a feeling you know that by posting them you are exposing the worst type of arrogance and thereby letting her make a fool of herself all on her own.

Having grown up next door to a private school for "entitled", affluent kids my whole life, I can tell you without question this school was essentially a reform shool: a place where entitled, highly-affluent families from all over the world sent their delinquent, drug-addicted and troubled children because they were a disgrace to the priviledged, cul-de-sac living, "entitled" families who probably once assumed, like GT, that their children were above getting into any trouble.

Affluent kids have even better access to everything the rest of us wish to keep our children away from. They also get a huge kick out of mocking their naive, "white-collar" parents, who are sitting atop their high horses claiming their children "will have no worries" and can do no wrong. It's a dangerous position to put yourself in as a parent, because none of us EVER know whether the dreams we have for our children will be fulfilled.

Parenthood is a white-knuckle ride and we need to support one another and fight tooth-and-nail to make sure our kids, and our neighbours kids, become the best they can be. Period.

webkinzfan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
webkinzfan said...

Rebekah- I love your heart and concern for people- old and young. I don't think you're judgemental- just concerned. "Gibson Twins" makes me sad and angry. Maybe adoption is plan B. My birth mom wanted to marry my birth dad, but he said "No." She wanted to keep me and live with her aunt and uncle, but the socal worker talked her out of it. My bio. grandma wanted to adopt me, but my grandpa said "No." So, I guess adoption is plan D as far as that goes, BUT-
I benifited from being adopted!! I was raised by loving adoptie parents and have a grat extended family. I went to a great Christian School from 7-12th grade.
I've been to England- where my adoptive mom grew up- 6 times and hope to go again some time to visit relatives. My adoptive parents were infertal and adopting me and my brother made them parents and I think we all benifited. Love you, Rebekah! Keep on being you!! Tracy from Iowa!

K said...

I'm a little behind the 8 ball here, but I also have to commend you for posting "gibsontwins" comments. I've read her blog before (it's now private) - I ran across it in the whole "April Rose" debacle. She struck me as someone who was unhappy with her life and hungry for internet drama to spice things up, and her comments here have only furthered that impression. You gave her the rope to hang herself by allowing her comments, and that's exactly what she did. In fact, she made a complete idiot of herself. Keep on keepin' on. You don't owe her or anyone else any explanation.