I remember my dad growing up. He wasn't the perfect father, but I looked up to him. I loved going out to the garage and watch him work on his many wood projects. He would make beautiful book shelves and even could make fun guns out of wood that would shoot rubber bands. He was a kid at heart, and loved to joke around and play jokes on people. My dad wasn't perfect...in fact he hurt me deeply many times in my life, but he was still my dad. Looking back on my life, I'm glad he was around....but I cant say that for my kids. Their dad isn't here...and unfortunately I don't think that will change.
I recently was considering moving closer to him in an effort to give the kids a chance to grow up with their dad. I see that they are lacking in a lot of areas, and I wanted to see if maybe it would work out for us to go and be closer to him. First thing I had to do was talk to him and make sure we were on the same page. I knew that if I lived closer to him that he would probably have them every weekend and with that arrangement I wanted to make sure that he would take them to church because otherwise they would never go.
I presented a few thing to him, as my expectations to going to Arizona depended on him complying with them or I would not go. They were simple things like taking the kids to church when he could, refraining from allowing the kids to watch movies like "the grudge," and "saw." Not allowing the kids to drink alcohol of any kind...things that probably to the ordinary parent would be a given...but not for this man. He is different.
After presenting these things to him...his response was that he would rather just have the kids in the summer, where he could do things the way he wanted to do things, rather then changing and becoming unhappy. In essence...he is not willing to change to make the kids lives better. He would rather just stay the way he is, miss out on the kids lives for practically the whole year, and continue leading his very cooshy life. I am so mad I could scream. How can someone be so selfish? How can someone let their children watch those horrible movies? How can you not be concerned about your child's spiritual walk?
So I am stuck. I can go to Arizona and get the help I desperately need, but in the process probably loose the kids to him as far as their spirituality....or I can stay here in Colorado and hope and pray that I am able to meet all the needs of the kids.
I am not willing to risk my kids not being taught the truth. What is the truth? The truth is that we are only here on this earth temporarily. This life is only a prerequisite for what is to come. I WANT my kids to be with me in Heaven. I have this HUGE responsibility to teach them about God and Jesus and the plans He has for our future. Unfortunately the kids father does not share that same conviction.
So I stay in Colorado.