When I was a little girl, from as far back as I can remember, I prayed this prayer to God over and over again:
"God, you know I want to be with you, and if you decide to rapture us now, Ill gladly go...but if there is any way you could possibly wait till I have babies, I would really love that, I just want to be a mom."
I used to have dreams at night that all my friends were having these beautiful babies and when my babies were delivered, they were mere plastic dolls. I felt cheated. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to have kids or that the rapture would come, so the above prayer became routine for me every day.
Now over 25 years later, I think it is clear that my prayers were answered. And boy oh boy were they ever answered. LOL
Yesterday I was driving to get Chelsea from Track, the road that I have to go down is just a canopy of trees that grow over the road, so its like you are driving through a tunnel of bright yellow, orange and gold leaves, its beyond beautiful, and I got to thinking. Lately I've been struggling with the kids. They have been fighting a lot and seem to REALLY NOT care for each other. I am literally speechless when they are screaming at each other. I don't know what to do and I am just dumb founded. Literally that word "dumb founded" is the perfect phrase because I feel quite dumb in the situation. So, I went and sat on the porch and just prayed....prayed for Gods wisdom. I cant think of any way through these hard times without His wisdom. Some people might think I am weird for praying that in such a situation but literally...it works...I've asked for it before and it works.
Now I have yet to get my wisdom from God on this situation but I know its coming.
So through the years I have learned a lot about myself through being a mom and a wife. I have discovered that in every circumstance, even the roughest and toughest ones, I can learn through them...just as I do with my own kids. I try to make every experience a learning experience. While we are driving down the road I will ask Matt "What road do we live on Matt?" Or I will ask Chelsea "What are our cross roads?" I do that to get the kids familiar with their surroundings, to gain a sense of direction. Yesterday we learned all about a dog racing track down the road...and today Matt learned what a thong was....OK OK....now I didn't WANT to teach him that...but well I will explain that down at the bottom of this entry.
I have learned that as I teach my kids things, I learn more about them and that despite the fact that Matt cant quite get the hang of folding laundry...
that Victoria and Chelsea do not work together well, and the kitchen never quite stays clean...
and that Skyler is REALLY good at over flowing the bath tub with bubbles(which are not actually bubbles but a whole bottle of shampoo that he wasted)....