Another fellow blogger had this great idea. Being a mother is nothing short of hilarious sometimes. Here are some of the things Ive caught myself saying:
Well, if you wouldn't pick the dog up by the tail she wouldn't bite you.
Please stop playing in the trash can.
Yes that is your penis, please put your under ware back on.
No you can not ride down the bike trail. Because its 35 miles long and someone might take you. Yes I know you are big and strong but I would miss you if someone did take you despite your superhero powers.
It doesn't work because there are no batteries in it. We have to buy some at the store. Yes I know...it doesn't work...yes we need batteries...from the store...Yes son...we've been over this...I know it doesn't work and we need batteries. (sigh)
You want some chocolate milk? OK Ill get you some...oh...you don't want it now...well you don't have to have the chocolate milk but I thought you asked for it. Well if you don't want chocolate milk what do you want? Chocolate milk? (sigh) OK, Ill get it.
Why is there poo in the toilet with no toilet paper? Who did it? (no answer) OK everyone go get your showers.
Yes I know the car doesn't work because we need batteries. (uggg) Its not going to start working just because you are shaking it. Stop shaking the car, your going to break it.
The dog doesn't like it when you pull her up by her ear. I'm not going to feel sorry for you when she bites you again. I told you not to do that. Yes that is a dog bite. She bit you because you tried to pull her ear off.
Stop picking your nose...and DON'T EAT YOUR BOOGERS!! Get a tissue for Gods sake!!
No we are not going to eat cereal for dinner. Yes I know we did last night but we are not going to tonight.
The dog bit you again....you deserve it.
Did you just pee on the floor? Why did you pee on the floor. How many times do I have to tell you to pee on the toilet? Its yucky to have pee on the floor.
No you may not use a hammer to fix your bike.
Its normal to start getting hair there. No it doesn't mean your weird, and yes every body else has hair there to.
You shaved your face? Is that why your lip is bleeding? Do NOT shave your face. What the heck did you think you were doing?
Quit making that noise. That is a horrible noise. Ive never heard such a horrible noise. What animal are you trying to imitate? Well quit.
Yes those are mommy's boobs. NO you may not poke at them.
Yes....I know we need batteries!!!
You swallowed a button? What in the heck made you do something like that? No you are not going to die. Settle down, your not going to die. Here let me help you. Ive got some button melting medicine (ahem which is actually a chewable Tylenol but a three year old doesn't know that). You feel the button melting....well good. All better now. Now no more putting buttons in your mouth.
And I leave you with a picture of me and Skyler when he was just a newborn....AHEM before he could talk. LOL