Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Coming to see me????

For a few months, tentatively, I have been planning to go and visit R and B and Ty this summer for Ty's first birthday. I have been looking forward to it (of course) and have just been trying to work out the details in my head. Well, then I got a new job and things drastically changed. I really didn't think to much of it (seeing as how I just got the job last week) until I got an email from Rebekah titled "exciting news!!" As I read the email tears filled my eyes. The big news is that R and B and baby Ty are going to come and see ME in April. They are going to purposefully come out and see me and the kids. I couldn't be more thrilled. The love that these people have for us astounds me. I am honored to be part of their lives.

Problem....

Maybe I shouldn't call this a problem but it is concerning to me. Chelsea(the thirteen year old) is not ready to see Tyrus. She said that she doesn't want to get close to someone again just to have him leave because it hurts to much. She compares the situation to her dad being so far away. She is really struggling lately with her broken heart caused by her daddy and me being divorced and then from her dad not really being part of her life for so many years.

I cant get upset with her about this. She has to be able to process her feelings and make her own decisions on things like this. She said to me "I know I'm Tyrus's big sister but right now I just don't know if I can do it...Victoria might have to fill in for me for awhile." It breaks my heart that I caused my children more pain. I will be glad when five years goes by and I can look back and see that the path I left behind is (semi) straight and not filled with more pain due to my bad choices for my kids.

So we will see how it goes with Chelsea. Right now I see lots of pain and sadness...and truly its not just her. The other kids are hurting to...but not necessarily because of the adoption...but because of the sad fact that they have a (mostly) absent dad. They each show their pain in different ways, but I know it is there.

I didn't want Tyrus to go through what my kids are going through. There is a HUGE reason that God designed parents to be a pair...mom and dad. I am thrilled to pieces that he has such a present and wonderful dad and a so loving mother. He will never have to live in pain because his dad isn't emotionally capable of being a part of his life. My kids could use your prayers.

So the count down to seeing Ty begins. I CANT WAIT (except that I have to)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

H said...

I'll pray for you AND Chelsea, that God will give you wisdom in helping her and give her peace about seeing Ty. Maybe since it is still a few months off, she will warm to the idea. I'm excited for you about the visit...that's awesome!:)

birthmothertalks said...

Hi..I am excited that you are going to see him sooner than you thought. It's awesome. I understand where you are coming from with the divorce. It effects kids so badly. But my kids father is in their lives, but it still created a lot of challenges.About the adoption pain that your daughter is having. I just wrote a couple post on the children who have sisters or brothers that were placed for adoption. It's so hard.

LL said...

What wonderful news!!!

Prayers for Chelsea and all your children who are dealing with their emotions.

Hugs!

Rebekah said...

Chelsea and I had a facebook conversation, back and forth, this morning. I told her that we love her and completely understand if she isn't ready to meet Ty. It won't hurt our (or his) feelings. I also reminded her that we're not going anywhere. If she decides next year...or in five years...or in ten years that she does want to meet him, the door will always be open.

I continually lift your kids up to our Father and am trusting him with their precious lives. He is the master filler of all voids. I know it's hard; I know your situation is not ideal, but he will make a way.

We are excited for our trip and have already started talking to sweet Ty about it. He just answers with a fake cough :).

Anna said...

Praying for Chelsea and the other kiddos and praying for patience for you as you await Ty's visit as well as wisdom on how to help the kids' through their tough times.

Lynnette said...

I am so happy for you and your family....I will pray for Chelsea. That is a hard age for a girl no matter the situations. I will keep you and the kids in my thoughts as always..Happy Thanksgiving

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for your family...and you of course:) What exciting news! GOD BLESS!!!

cc said...

I'm thrilled you will be seeing Ty, R & B in just a few short months. It makes my heart smile to know how happy that must make you.
My prayers are with Chelsea. I'm sure she has alot of different emotions raging at this time. I pray she finds some comfort along with your other kids.
Love Ya,
CC