Sunday, November 15, 2009

Is that a tent your waring?

Oh thank you all so much for your sincere congratulations on my new job. I am very excited. I start Wednesday...that's only two days away...and I have nothing to ware. My wardrobe consists of two pair of dress pants, and one dress shirt that is actually ripped up the side. I don't have a single pair of dress shoes and my genetically inherited grey hair has grown about two inches making me look kinda older and worn. To put it simply, I'm a hot mess!!!

So, I felt that with a new job comes a little more money and I budgeted a couple hundred dollars to go out and get a new wardrobe worthy of a doctors office receptionist. I was excited. My best friend was going with me, my sister and brother in law had ALL my kids, and I was rearing to go.

I know I am a bigger women. My boobs alone reach a destination LONG before the rest of me does(humor is one of the keys to a happy life ya know...LOL), so I thought a plus size consignment shop was just what the doctor ordered.

I walk into this cute little hole in the wall used clothing shop, tell the ladies what I need, and am directed to a very small section of....THE BIGGEST CLOTHES IN THE STORE! Let me set this up a bit for you. I am a BIG mirror avoider. I try NOT to notice, look, or even glance at my reflection in the mirror, because when I do it is just a reminder of who I am not anymore and that is hard to accept. Now don't get me wrong, I am not looking for a pity party or any comments saying "you'll get there..." NOPE I am only saying that because I don't look in the mirror and the fact that my wardrobe consists of mostly cleaning pants and men's t-shirts, and add on the fact that I have not been shopping for clothes for myself since I first got pregnant with Ty(and that was for maternity clothes), I was in for a big shock.

I put on the first shirt and walk around to actually look at my reflection and what I saw was...well...I started crying. I was so frustrated with the way I looked. I am not exaggerating when I looked like I was waring a tent. My friend that was with me came over and hugged me and encouraged me to keep on keeping on. I realized that there was nothing I could do. I have a new job...a fat body...a great life...and I just needed to get over it...find some more tents to ware and move on. So that is what I did. I ended the day with about two weeks worth of SSWWEETT dress clothes, a pair of shoes and a set of bump its. I still need to color my hair, paint my nails, and this classy tent waring grey haired lady is ready to start my new job.


Nati @ I will praise Him said...

I've never heard of bump its. Seriously? Do these work?

BTW I KNOW how you feel about wearing tents... I've gained so much weight through all the prednisone in the past 2 years that NONE of my clothes fit. I dread looking in the mirror or shopping for new clothes. I'm glad you found some dress clothes though!

Have a great Sunday! And thanks for your sweet comment on my Dentist post :-)

Lynnette said...

You are beautiful inside and out no matter what you wear. You will do great!!!!!

Lindsey Stelly said...

"My boobs alone reach a destination way before I do" - My coffee almost went through my nose!! HILARIOUS!!
Your humor is beautiful and you are even more beautiful!
I am a blog-lurker! I check everyday to see if you've posted. I also pray a lot for you and your family.
I'm so excited about your new job - GOD IS SOOOO GOOD! Keep your chin up and wear those TENTS with pride! That Dr.'s Wife saw what we see - Jesus in YOU!! You are on your way, Girly!!!

All My Monkeys said...

"classy tent wearing gray haired lady" - that just cracked me UP!

I know how you feel.

I avoid mirrors too. Mostly because until recently, I didn't have a full length one, and I'm usually too frugal to shop for myself (classic mom syndrome of everyone else's needs come first). Then I wanted to start a diet and decided to take pics of myself to document any possible changes. When I uploaded them, I immediately called my hubby and apologized. I do not realize how fat I am. It's like I have the opposite of what anorexics have. I look in the mirror and see someone who is not as fat as she is, though not perfect, still attractive. Uhhhh... reality check! So now I try to avoid mirrors and pictures, for the reason that I don't want to see it and I don't want to document it. (Plus, I got prego and miscarried, so the diet went out the window and I gained back all the weight I lost.)

Someday. Someday I'll get off my round rump and do something about it. Glad to hear about your awesome clothes scores! Good Luck tomorrow!

H said...

How in the world do you make me laugh and feel for you in the same sentence? You're hilarious, Rebekah:) Trying clothes on just does. I hope you can get more confidence with your new outfits, but something tells me that when you start this job Wednesday, all people will be noticing is your sweet heart for the Lord and your willingness to work hard...something even better and more important than how you look! I'm excited to hear all about it...praying for you!:)

birthmothertalks said...

I hate shopping too!!

~Katie said...

Good for you girl! You are a trip! Thanks for the laugh. I am so excited for you and your new job!

Rose said...

Ummm, yeah, kids'll do that to you! Funny, with my son, the weight was gone in three months, and I was back to normal (which was not super skinny, but I felt comfortable.) And now, after my daughter, the weight stayed with me. I'm thirty pounds heavier than I was before, and I feel so gross! I feel awkward and large, and the person in the mirror is so hard to reconcile with the person I feel like on the inside. Who is that frumpy dumpy housewife in there looking at me?? I know how you feel, and I won't tell you it doesn't matter, because it does affect the way you feel about yourself. I just try to focus on the good things in my life, and if I really want the weight gone, I know how to do it, and I know I just have to make that commitment to put myself first! Whew!! Good comment eh!!

Linzbaby1 said...

Hi Rebekah!
I don't know if you remember me from TLOL, but I was pregnant with my Malik when you were pregnant with Skyler. I've actually followed you ever since. (I'm just not much of a commenter, even at tlol, where I still am under Linzbaby1)

I love your humor (which is a neccesity when raising kids! ) and think Ty is soooooo lucky to have you as a first Mom. I am Mommy to two older kids now (my husband's daughter, and her biological brother, to be specific). Their biological Mother abandoned them when they were 1.5 and 5 years old, and I can't tell you how much hurt they have and unanswered questions. I do my best, and I've managed to track down a few siblings, but it's still so hard for them to understand. It warms my heart, the relationship you and Rebekkah have, and amazes me at what a beautiful life Ty will have, with both his families lifting him up and supporting him!

As far as looking in the mirror goes, I wanted to tell you a story from when I was a kid. My Grandfather's sister, Aunt Annie was a very plain woman. There was really nothing spectacular about any of her features, but man o man, when she walked into a room, she turned heads! Her beautiful heart and outgoing personality shined through! People were just drawn to her. I remember seeing that as a child, and telling my Mother that I want to be beautiful like Aunt Annie when I grow up, and she's the one who sat down with me and made me realize that her beauty came from within..

Now I hope my children are beautiful like their great-great Aunt Annie, who they will never get to meet. Looks fade, and weight goes up and down, but THAT kind of beauty is the beauty that is timeless..... they beauty people remember.

And that kind of beauty is the beauty I see shining through in you in all the years I've followed your story.

Linzbaby1 said...

Thanks for the kind words about my kid's pictures :) The baby, Sierra, was born with a real severe cleft lip and palate, so it's been a stressful year of medical care and surgeries, but it's so nice to be through the first year, with all it's hurdles!

Amber, That's Me! said...

I know you are busy with the new job, but I wanted to invite you to join in my photo challenge this week- I am giving away a gift card at the end of the week!

Angela said...

I've been a blog lurker for a long time, but tonight I have to comment. Your post cracked me up and brought back tears of an all too familiar shopping trip.

After being on bedrest with my last child and gaining WAY TOO MUCH weight, even tents were challenging to get on! I had a job I worked at 3 days before going on bedrest and was thankful they would still take me back. When I took my 4 year old shopping with me and into the dressing room, she said (VERY LOUDLY) "Don't worry, Mom. I'll pray to God you get some skinny." Laughter erupted in every one of the 15+ dressing rooms at Kohl's that day!

Needless to say, we left the dressing room VERY QUICKLY, and I went tent shopping all by myself the next day!!

You are in my prayers. Take care of yourself!

Kel said...

I once cried in a dressing room at banana republic. I had made the mistake of trying to buy pants there. It was terrible, my husband still won't go pants shopping with me. poor guy.

Amber said...

I just found your blog and I am SO thankful that I did. As a couple dealing with infertility for almost 2 years, we are considering adoption. You made the most unselfish and loving decision in the world. I am SO grateful that there are women like you in this world who give the ultimate gift to a couple who can't have children of their own.

cc said...

Good Luck starting your job today! I know you look beautiful in whatever you are wearing. As it's been stated over and over in these comments...You are beautiful from the inside out!


Kriss said...

I thought about you today and I hope you had a fantastic first day!!! -kriss