Monday, January 12, 2009

More on adoption.

I was trying to find adoption stories where they were about the birth mother relinquishing there baby. I ran across this one lady's story and she happen to now work for I emailed her and she wrote me back right away and encouraged me to call the number for more info.
Well I did just that and got a lot of questions answered. My main concern was that If at all possible I wanted the father to be able to sign his rights away before the baby was born so that I was assured that I could go through with this. Well in my state (Colorado) you can not sign your rights away before the baby is born. GRRRRRR!!!! I learned that people looking to adopt are taking a HUGE emotional risk. They are really given no certainty that the baby will be signed over by both birth parents. It amazes me. The lady from the agency said that the potential adoptive parents are aware of the risk. On one hand it makes me feel so good that these wonderful people are putting up so much financially and emotionally, but to them the risk is worth it to get a child that they have been dreaming of. I am so crushed and disappointed that I cant get the birth father out of the picture. Im so afraid he is going to ruin everything.

I also found out that there is some financial compensation for me as far as groceries and gas money. This floored me because I am absolutely not looking to get anything financially. I just want someone to give my baby a good loving home. But again it is amazing and just another sign on how serious these people are about receiving a child.

I did call the sperm doner today just to clarify where his heart was on this whole thing and to let him know my intentions. Last time I talked to him he said he was working with a lawyer to get the paperwork together to sign his rights away before the baby is born. After calling the agency today and finding out that you can not do that in the state of Colorado, I am sad to see that he is still lying to me. Why cant this man be truthful for once in his life? This is so damn important. This is someones life we are talking about and it is not a game. No...its not just the baby's life...its the two people that could be the parents of my baby's life that I am talking about. I am prepared to give my baby up for adoption but I am not prepared for this man to ruin someones hopes and dreams.

Do I go for it and hope that he is telling the truth? Logically I know that it is the best decision for me and my kids to go for adoption. So now what?

The agency is sending me a packet tomorrow with 25 profiles in it. I am excited to get it and get started. I just wish I know how it would end up.


Kriss said...

Huge hugs sweetie. I know your decision must be hard. I cant wait to hear more about the profiles. If you need an ear I am here. -kriss

Anonymous said...

I love coming back to read your side now that I know how it "ends" (really how it starts for baby Ty!) Can I say again how amazing our God is and how beautiful your love?