Thursday, May 7, 2009

33 weeks!!!!!

Well, its so great to be in the last trimester. But, of course, once you get to the end, time starts to go by very slow. The last month for me will go by REALLY REALLY slow because my older three kids will be gone to Arizona with there dad.

In the beginning of all this I was going to let them decide if they wanted to stay and meet the baby and so on. But the more I got to thinking about it, I decided that I will have my own emotions and feelings to worry about without nursing three other peoples emotions. I figure that by the time they get back from there daddy's then I will be much more recovered emotionally and physically and I can then tend to there needs. It may sound selfish to some people but it is the best choice for me. So the kids will be gone for the entire summer and will return a week or so before school begins.

Today I had a lot of ligament pain. It was horrible, and brought me to tears. I think my stomach grew in those moments sitting on the couch gripping the side trying to get a handle on the pain. All I did was go grocery shopping, which does include walking round and round Wally world but still, I was a hurtin. I did have the kids put the groceries in the car, take the groceries in the house, and put the groceries away...all while I did nothing. I couldn't help it, I was trying to hold it together sitting on the couch. Not good. Thank you kiddos for helping mommy.

Well I am going to try and get one more cup of water down and go lay in bed. I am hoping to get as much rest and water down before Tuesday when I can HOPEFULLY get some good news on this amniotic fluid.

Oh, and a sweet blog reader asked that I change my blog design because It was hard to read. I do aim to please, and also didn't realize that it really was hard to read. Sorry you all.

I also changed the picture at the top. Guess who it is? ITS ME!!! I am getting ready for my senior homecoming. Dang, I wish I looked like that now. LOL Maybe in the future. LOL


LL said...

That probably was a tough decision but i think you have your children's best interest at heart. They will have a wonderful time with their dad too. And with the relationship that you, Rebekah and Ben have I am sure that they will meet their little brother at a later date!

mak'n Changes said...

When I saw that picture I was taken back,, left breathless for a second. You are such a hottie becky! You always have been. I look at the pics from your recent visit with your "baby mamma" *laugh* and even there you are just beautiful! You got some good genes! With a dad that looks like richard geer and a hottie mom, You were for sure hooked up in the looks department! *wink*
I think (not that my thoughts should be any deciding factor in all this) but I think sending the kids to Az is good for you. Your thinking is very smart. when I grow up can I be smart like you? You have a good head on your shoulders becky! Im super proud of you!
hugs and kisses

cc said...

I'm a new reader to your blog and have never commented before. I started reading a week or so ago. Yesterday I went to the beginning and have almost read all your post.

I truly admire you for having the strength to give your child to a loving couple. I know it has got to be one of the hardest things you have ever done. I also think it's probably one of the most unselfish things you can do.

I'm praying for you and your other 4 children as you start a new chapter in your life.

CeCe in Mississippi

P.S. I love the new look of your cute.

Lerin said...

I love the new blog design! It is easier to read, but also cute and cheerful. :)

You definitely can't worry about what anyone else thinks. In the long run, your children will be better for coming home to a recovering Mommy rather than a Mommy in physcial pain and emotional distress. Don't let the feelngs of guilt get you... you have to take care of YOU to be able to take care of THEM.

cc said...

Oh by the way, I'm following you on Twitter now : )

Anonymous said...

Your choice is anything, but selfish. You ARE thinking about your kids. When they come home you'll be able to give them your full attention. I think you're amazing :O).

- R