Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Getting harder!!

I took Victoria to counseling today and started talking to a lady in the waiting room. She and I were sharing our kid stories and I was telling her about the adoption and she said "I have a special place in my heart for birth moms, because adoption completed my family." She has a seven year old that she adopted at birth. Its so nice to hear these wonderful stories. I love it.

Its becoming increasingly hard to get through each day. I continue to fight the fatigue that I feel. I have lots of energy just waiting to get out but I find myself dragging, almost like I am on drugs. Its very frustrating. So...I make myself rest when I feel that it is unavoidable and necessary.

Im really sad that the kids will be leaving in two weeks, but at the same time I am really looking forward to it. Its getting REALLY hard to meet every ones needs when my body is just really hurting and not working like it normally would. I am so glad that the hardest weeks of the pregnancy will be three less kids. Skyler will be here but I think I can handle just one. One is cake. LOL

Things are going well with the baby. He continues to grow and has grown out of any kidney problems he had in the start. Now I struggle with making his environment good. Last week I had very very low fluid. I got a doctors note for jury duty and basically put myself on semi-bed rest in an effort to get my fluid back up. It worked and now my fluid is back up to a safe level. My concern now is that my heart is doing these flip floppy things in my chest. I have always had these flippy feelings in my heart but the last two days it has been A LOT. I will mention this to the doctor. It just feels like a fish flipping back and forth in my chest. Really weird. I do not have chest pain or arm pain or anything like that. I have no idea what it is.

Other then that I am just trying to get through each day. My belly is really round now. I send Rebekah belly pictures but I just don't feel like they really show her the true roundness of my belly. I took a bath today and when I laid down in the tub I looked down and it was this huge basketball right under my boobs. LOL I was SHOCKED at how big my belly was. I love it. Its the one time that I can sorta hide (sort of I said) how FAT I am. LOL I am looking forward to loosing weight after he is born.

I hope everyone had a good weekend.


Happiness is Here! said...

I so admire you!! I will continue to pray for your health, baby's, and your emotional well being as things get harder!!

mak'n Changes said...

Im glad to hear that your water level is back up. you did good! My heart did the same thing a couple weeks back! It was flipping around in my chest like crazy,,, just as you explained it! I had a headache and was gonna take 3 motrin like normal but heard a voice inside say," you've lost weight, you dont need as many now." So I only took 2. then my heart went crazy! I should have only taken 1, but if you think about it, motrin should not have made my heart go crazy. So all that to say I feel your pain. Let me know what the doc says, I'd love to find out what the heck this "Bass" heart flutter crap is.....
i know you are gonna miss those kids BUT I am very excited that they are coming to town! Cant wait to hang out with them.


Paulette said...

You are a beautiful person inside and out.. Thank God for YOU!!

Anonymous said...

I second Paulette's comment! :)

We're nearing the end...hang in there! I had to laugh at your "one is cake" comment, because in a few weeks I think I'll beg to differ! :)

- R

Kriss said...

I was thinking and praying for you today while I was making butterflys. I wish I lived closer because I would help you Skylar so you could rest some. Hugs! -kriss

God's girl said...

Praying for you today:)