Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Adoption paperwork!!

The stack of paperwork they sent me is incredible. A lot of the stuff, I discovered, was not for me to fill out but for the agency to fill out after they evaluate me. What? Why did they send it to me? Here are a few of the possible things that could be checked off by the agency...

Birth mother has a history of working with more than 1 agency or scamming-or is trying to play agencies against one another.

Birth mother is deceitful, untruthful and/or gives conflicting information.

Birth mother is mentally retarded and cannot make informed decisions.

Birth mother is not interested in the name the adoptive parents picked out for baby.

I started to fill out this three page questionnaire. I couldn't believe they were asking me these questions, then I read the top and learned that the caseworker is to fill this paper out after she does orientation with me. The thing about this paper is that if the birth mother does have mental problems or is trying to scam other agencies, she would have this form to know exactly what they were looking for and just pretend. Also, a copy of this paper goes to the adoptive parents. I just thought it was weird that I got it.

I was also shocked that there are birth moms out there that scam and join several agencies just to get compensation. First of all, I had no idea that the adoptive parents could potentially help with rent and things like that. In fact, there is another form that asks if I need help with maternity clothes, rent, food, and things like that. I understand that there are birth moms out there that need help, but I just could not bring myself to ask for it...EVER. Nor did I know it was even available. My adoptive parents have an additional 8,000 dollars tacked onto there fees just because I live in another state and they are mandated to go through an agency here in my state. GRRR!! How maddening. Don't get me started on the money issue. Birth moms are not the only scammers. Anyway, all that to say that its wonderful that all those things are available to birth moms, but I will NOT need to take advantage of the extra stuff that was offered.

I have not even been through half the stack of papers and I run into another issue. The papers say that if need be, the baby will be placed in transitional care. I refuse for my baby to be put in strangers hands. I don't care how many certifications they have, I will bring the baby home before I let it go to a transitional family. Rebekah and I already talked about this and I believe we are on the same page. She will fly over oceans before baby boy is put into transitional care. It seems like it wouldn't be an issue but it could be if I give birth before anyone expects it. I am not generally in the hospital for more then 24 hours (if all goes well). The paperwork said if the adoptive parents are not here by the time I am discharged then baby will be placed in transitional care. Nope!! I don't like that at all.

The last thing that I learned from all this paperwork is that it is really important to establish if I am from a Native American tribe. Sheesh! I think they ask me that 20 times throughout the paperwork.

So not to much else is a shock. It sounds like the new agency is very competent. I feel very good about going through them.


mak'n Changes said...

I always get confused and frustrated with big packets that need to be filled out. I feel for u. I'm still so proud of u becky! What an amazing gift u are giving this family! Love u!

Arcadia said...

You know, I looked at adoption agencies when I first considered keeping the pregnancy with Rose but one look at the stack of paperwork was enough to stop me in my tracks. I understand wanting proof of pregnancy but some of the questions just seemed so silly. I'm really glad that I found a couple for a private match and we only had to deal with attorneys.

Good luck with the paperwork!