Well, I guess I should have been prepared for my first negative comment. Was it a negative comment though? It seemed to come from another birth mom who is really really hurt and misses her baby a great deal.
This person made me think that I have not been clear on my emotions or other things. I am also assuming this anonymous commenter was a women. She mentioned that giving my baby up would be like giving an arm or a leg up and that I put the adoptive parents on a pedestal. I don't know what to think about this. I am always expecting support so it was weird to get negative, but its good. Everyone has there own opinion.
I guess I do think more of the adoptive family then I do myself because right now I am still healing and I am really down on myself for some decisions I have made. My life just seems like a train wreck. The only successful part of my life are my kids, the rest has not gone how I planned, or maybe I didn't make plans, I just went with the flow? But I know I made plans when I was younger. Of course my biggest dream was to be a mother, but my dream was not to be married twice and then end up a single mom of 4.5 kids. Who dreams of that (except the women that gave birth to sextuplets...CRAZY!!!!)
Anyway, of course I dream of getting over seventy comments from people that love me and are all positive and wonderful...but...I am going to get these comments. I know that it is going to be hard....but I am at the beginning of my journey and am still preparing for the emotions this will bring in the end. I have not gone through any counseling (zero) to prepare myself for what is ahead. I plan on doing that but I have a few months to go. Right now it seems exciting and new, but I know there will be tears on both sides and happiness and sadness. I am so thankful that I get to come home to my sweet three year old and not to an empty home.
So now I am sad. I am sad for the person that commented because I really sensed her pain. She wanted to warn me...how sweet. I appreciate it and I am not mad, nor does it make me change my mind, but makes me want to prepare more.
Ultrasound today. I might post more later. I just woke up and had that comment and had to reply.
Oh, to the others that have commented, your comments (my sweet irreplaceable cousin) mean more to me then you know. Thank you.