Thursday, February 12, 2009

My first negative comment!!

Well, I guess I should have been prepared for my first negative comment. Was it a negative comment though? It seemed to come from another birth mom who is really really hurt and misses her baby a great deal.

This person made me think that I have not been clear on my emotions or other things. I am also assuming this anonymous commenter was a women. She mentioned that giving my baby up would be like giving an arm or a leg up and that I put the adoptive parents on a pedestal. I don't know what to think about this. I am always expecting support so it was weird to get negative, but its good. Everyone has there own opinion.

I guess I do think more of the adoptive family then I do myself because right now I am still healing and I am really down on myself for some decisions I have made. My life just seems like a train wreck. The only successful part of my life are my kids, the rest has not gone how I planned, or maybe I didn't make plans, I just went with the flow? But I know I made plans when I was younger. Of course my biggest dream was to be a mother, but my dream was not to be married twice and then end up a single mom of 4.5 kids. Who dreams of that (except the women that gave birth to sextuplets...CRAZY!!!!)

Anyway, of course I dream of getting over seventy comments from people that love me and are all positive and wonderful...but...I am going to get these comments. I know that it is going to be hard....but I am at the beginning of my journey and am still preparing for the emotions this will bring in the end. I have not gone through any counseling (zero) to prepare myself for what is ahead. I plan on doing that but I have a few months to go. Right now it seems exciting and new, but I know there will be tears on both sides and happiness and sadness. I am so thankful that I get to come home to my sweet three year old and not to an empty home.

So now I am sad. I am sad for the person that commented because I really sensed her pain. She wanted to warn me...how sweet. I appreciate it and I am not mad, nor does it make me change my mind, but makes me want to prepare more.

Ultrasound today. I might post more later. I just woke up and had that comment and had to reply.

Oh, to the others that have commented, your comments (my sweet irreplaceable cousin) mean more to me then you know. Thank you.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I get negative comments too..and they always come anonymously! The least people can do is leave their name if they're going to be angry! :)

I view them with your same attitude. People in pain say hurtful things. Don't let her burst your bubble. God hasn't forgotten you in all of this and I see his plans unfolding for BOTH of our lives.

Rebekah

mak'n Changes said...

I love you forever becky! Im excited to hear about the sex (I almost said race! *laugh*) of the baby!
All I know is that you are the strongest woman I know!

*smooches*

Anonymous said...

Rebekah,
Once again you amaze me. I am just now getting caught up on your blog...and all i can think of is how great you are what a wonderful mom you are... Please don't think that you have made a mess of your life... or worry about the negative comments! I just keep thinking of the verse "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
jer 29:11
You can do it!!!

Anonymous said...

How exactly do you think it's ok to give your child away? How do you think his brothers and sisters will feel about that? How do you explain to a child that you didn't want to keep him?

There is nothing good about abandoning a child. You are not some teenage girl with no support, you have already been raising children and are most likely yes a good mother.

Quoting from the bible still doesn't make abandoning a child a good thing.

Please go and read some blogs by adoptees as well. You know my daughter who loves her adoptive parents said adoption is the worst thing you can do to someone.

It really is NOT ok to give your child away. There is nothing noble about this. That baby is YOUR responsibility. That baby is a member of YOUR family.

joy said...

I would encourage you to read adoptee blogs too.

Here is one of mine:

http://joy21.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/time-does-not-bring-relief-you-all-have-lied-who-told-me-time-would-ease-my-pain/