My son.

In this post I will be talking mostly about my son Matthew. He is my first son and he is now nine years old. I remember when he was first born. I took one look at his penis and thought "what the heck do I do with that?" I didn't have brothers and I had no idea how to care for a boy and my last two babies were girls. Of course you learn and boys are wonderful and sweet.

Matt was nine months old when I left his father. He doesn't remember ever living with his dad. Now he spends two months in the summer with his dad. I don't think they connect very well. Matthew is a very spunky and active boy. He doesn't like watching TV and he would rather not watch movies. Instead, he would like to be outside riding bikes and throwing balls and getting into trouble. LOL And that is exactly what he does most of the time. Because of the way he his, his father can not really relate to him. His dad is a computer engineer and is completely happy sitting in front of his computer playing games for 24 hours a day. This is one reason (I believe) that our marriage didn't work out, it may be small in others eyes, but when your husband doesn't come out of the room except to go to work or to pee, then it does put a wall in your relationship. I do think that over the years the two of them will learn to connect more, I pray they do anyway.

Matt has had many many problems in school. I have never seen anything wrong with Matt before but now the teachers think he has ADHD. His attention span has never been great but neither is mine. I am better now because I have taught myself to be better but at nine years old and having such an active personality, its hard to sit still in school. His teacher is always calling me and telling me that Matt is behind again. Last week she called me and said "We are not allowed to spank here in school, but there at home you know you can." She calls me ALOT and seems to be really involved with getting him to do his work, but for some reason I don't think she likes him and I feel she is sick of him. Additionally, Matt does not want to go to school now because he is afraid of her. Why would this be happening? I tell my kids all the time that they are going to have teachers that they don't like but they still have to go to school, but I don't think they should be afraid of them.

Again, I feel alone in all this. Matt comes home with tons of homework and a very poor attitude because he has already had a frustrating day. I have my babysitting kids till about five thirty, homework to do with the kids, and dinner to somehow get done, and a three year old to watch. I HATE homework. I don't have time for it and there is not enough of me to go around. I don't know how to help my son. I send him to school for the teachers to teach him, I don't have a husband to help me at nights or anyone for that matter, so I really wish that homework was just banned. LOL Kids get enough schooling at school. When they come home it should be family time and play time and getting ready for school the next day time. As it is, my kids don't get home until about four thirty because they are in after school counseling. This is crazy.....


Today I will pack up all the kids and head to the lab. The OB doctor called me because I have not had the labs done that they want. So, I promised I would get them done today. I also have to collect my urine for 24 hours so that they have a baseline for my kidneys and things like that in case I get really sick with eclampsia. This sounds like a world of fun for me.

I am not trying to be negative.....but right now I just feel emotional and helpless when it comes to certain things. All I can do is get through each day.

Baby is moving fine. Everything seems to be OK....I just need to get through this day. Oh and here is a video of Chelsea playing her piano. She is getting quite good.