The blind women sees!!!!!

I had to post. Ive had a lot on my mind lately. Ive been doing a lot of reflecting...but I am careful not to do to much of it at one time because it takes me down a dark path of thinking "what if." For example what If I didn't marry my first husband? And what if I didn't marry my second husband? What if I didn't get pregnant with Ty? Sure my life would be easier. Maybe I would have taken life slower, made more informed decisions....but the truth is that I am really a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. I have no idea why. But what if those things had not happened? The only explanation is that I wouldn't have my wonderful kids and Ben and Rebekah wouldn't have Ty. You cant go back, you can only move forward and thank God for what you have. I keep telling myself those things and I am usually only in the "self pity" mode for a short time....and I am able to move on.

Rebekah called me today...twice. I wasn't home so I didn't know she called but when I did get home...and I saw that she had called, my heart did flip flops. It would be the first time I talked to her since they left. I also received Ty's birth announcement in the mail. I am so special to be able to get these wonderful trinkets of his life. Ill cherish it forever. Oh and I hear he is nine pounds now....he is growing fast and he has taken on a feisty personality.....hummmm....sounds like four other children I know. LOL

I ordered some new glasses the day Rebekah and Ben left for home. I was so glad to have a doctors appointment that day because it was such a much needed distraction for my broken heart. My prescription was so bad that I was getting headaches and just really struggling to see street signs and such. Well today I got the call that the glasses were in. After having a wonderful afternoon with my mom and sister I scooted down there and picked them up. The minute I put them on I felt a bit dizzy. I have been seeing a world of blur for a few years now. I cant BELIEVE what I was missing out on. Everything is so crisp and clean looking. I feel like I am six again and I am putting on my glasses for the first time. It does wonders for my sore eyes. These eyes have seen a lot in my life time...more then I would care to tell. Lately they have seen a lot of tears...but today....I see clarity in more ways then one.

Potty training has just about left me hopeless. I was thinking that it wouldn't take long to do this. After a whole week of...well you saw the video two blogs back...I am exhausted by it. I really do want to give up and just slap a diaper on my son. Someone suggested I just give it up for now and wait...but the problem is...he is not fitting very well in size six diapers...and Ill tell you... that's the biggest size they sell. I do not have a small child. So, thanks to you all's encouragement...I press on. (sigh)

These are HORRIBLE pictures...but I don't have anyone around to take photos of me, well Skyler would gladly volunteer that job but I don't think so, so this is all I could do. Its been so hot here so my hair is all tied back and I'm just so tired after a long day. So...here is me in all my beauty. LOL


The glasses above actually have a really pretty green around the edges but the picture doesn't show that. And can you believe I am even waring these silly things? Don't they remind you of the glasses we wore in the eighty's and nineties. I cant believe they are in style. The picture below is actually transition (whooooohhhh) lenses and are supposed to turn to sun glasses in the sun. I have yet to see that happen but if and when it does I will be in total amazement...its like magic to me. LOL I have not worn a pair of sunglasses in years. I feel spoiled.