Should I or should I not?

I feel like I have been running running running the past few weeks. I cant get my mind to settle down. I can hardly sleep and don't seem to be making much time to eat. By the time I feel like eating its to late and I am so hungry I feel sick. I just feel uneasy. Sitting down for any period of time wether to watch a movie or a TV show has always been hard for me anyway, because I always have to be busy but now that I am job hunting its even worse. I feel worn out.

If I had kept count of all the applications and resumes I have been submitting I am sure it would range up there near forty or fifty. Seriously, at what point does a person stop and wait? Should I give it a week? I just cant. I'm surprised my computer hasn't gone up in smoke by now from all the Internet searches and typing I have done. (sigh) I'm worn out.

Yet, I cant and wont stop looking....it feels foolish to stop and wait, and it doesn't match who I am. I'm a fighter and by golly I will make someone notice me if it takes marching in to the offices and slapping my resume ON their desks every week.

So, Ive been thinking about tomorrow. There is no significance to tomorrow except that it is Thursday and it again represents more internet searches and typing and calling. So even though I will still do those things, I was thinking of having a "mini me" day and spending five bucks and going to the afternoon movie. Saturday the kids come home and I wont get this chance again for a long time...so should I do it or should I not? The five bucks to get into the movie is what gets me...is it foolish? I mean, after all I don't have a job and going to the movies is a luxury. Still, I feel like I deserve a little bit of me time right?

OK enough of that...I have to mention this sweet peice of kindness that Rebekah and Ben sent to me. They caught me completely by surprise and sent me a HUGE box yesterday full of school supplies. Not only school supplies but also a 50 dollar gift card to Walmart to complete our school supply list. Many things ran through my mind when I opened the box....the first one was that these wonderful people have sacrificed so much financially to get a baby. I know that it was such a burden to come up with all the money required, and even though it all worked out I cant imagine how it has put a hole on them financially, yet they go and spend all this money again on me and my kids. How can I ever thank them for being so supportive. They owe me nothing yet they give me so much. Here is a picture of the inside of the box....everything that was picked out was so colorful and cheerfull looking...

The second thing that went through my head and probably it would seem odd to everyone else...but she sent the stuff in one of Ty's diaper boxes. I just kept thinking "his diapers were in there." LOL Now it makes me laugh but to me it was so sentimental and I am sure Rebekah didn't think that the box itself presented as a gift to me along with the school supplies but it did. Call me weird, but the box was cool.

I cant wait to show the kids the contents of the box....well I cant wait to see the kids. Saturday is coming. Thanks again Rebekah and Ben. (hugs from afar)