Writers block and scattered thoughts!

I hardly know where to begin sometimes. I have a lot of thoughts that go through my head, but I don't know how to put them into words which makes for a very scattered post.

Physically, I'm doing much better. The doctor is slowly taking my blood pressure medication down and hopefully I will soon be off of it. I am not pumping anymore which was weird in itself. When your milk supply goes away its almost like grieving again over the loss. Its not normal for me to not be nursing. On One hand I couldn't imagine nursing a baby and keeping up with Skyler, but on the other hand...it can be sad. Although this may be to much information but I must add that I am still bleeding. The relevance of that information is that it is just a constant reminder of what I just went through.

Mentally I find that I do really well when I am busy busy busy...but then when I have alone time I tend to get really uneasy and don't know what to do with myself. I don't really have free time with Skyler running around all the time, but compared to my life with three kids added in...I'm pretty bored most of the time, and for me that leads to a bit of depression. I am doing my best to stay focused on my goals, and make use of my time. Idol time is not a good thing to have to much of.

Today was a wonderful day. I have to say that the best part of the day was checking the mail and finding a package from Rebekah. It contained a CD with some sweet pictures, a precious card (priceless) and a beautiful piece of paper with little Tyrus' hand prints on it. I just stopped and stared at his teeny tiny little hands. I didn't remember them being so small and I traced them with my finger and thanked God for him and for his very thoughtful momma for sending me such a wonderful gift.

Skyler had a great time today to. We went to visit an old friend. I actually used to watch their little girl for them (she is in the picture with Sky). I had not seen them since I was just a couple months pregnant so it was nice to catch up.



I am looking for a job. I have about eight applications out. I will start looking more furiously when I can get Skyler into daycare which will be (hopefully) within the next two weeks. I am trusting God for finances. I have enough money to last me MAYBE two months. I don't know what I will do when it runs out and if it wasn't for selling my car I wouldn't even have that. As it is I have to dig into the chunk of money I have to pay for school supplies and that may not seem like much but when you have to buy them for three kids its usually a bit over a hundred dollars. Can you believe that? Crazy!!!! I am leaning on the Lord as my provider...I know he will provide me a job at the right time and he will take care of us. I don't see how it will all work out, but I guess that's what faith is for.

Skyler had his doctors appointment today. He is a perfectly healthy and LARGE little three year old. I voiced all my concerns to her. She is not one big concerned with his eating or his delayed speech. He is speaking in three word sentences and the foods he is eating is providing him enough nutrition with his multivitamin included. He shows no signs of autism and is properly growing. My momma heart has been put at ease.

So, to finish up this long drawn out post, things are going good. Even though I seem to live in limbo most of the time, I know these things will work themselves out. I am in good spirits and I am very thankful for my blessed life. I don't have a lot of money, and I don't have a lot of expensive things, but I don't need them to be happy. Life is certainly what you make of it.

Next.......weight loss, I have over 100 pounds to loose and it is on my mind constantly on how I will tackle it. But that is for another post.....:)