I have dreaded this day. I knew it was coming though so I tried my hardest to prepare for it. I could hardly hold myself together when they walked through my door. Its so bitter sweet. I had to give away my baby, that might not be the "phrasing" people would think appropriate to use, but I GAVE away my baby. Thank GOD he has wonderful parents, and I am certain he will have a wonderful life.....but I cant explain how it tears my heart in two.
I am learning to live with my decisions every day. Today I thought I was stronger but the tears still flowed, I could hardly choke them back all morning.
When they came to my door me and Rebekah gave each other a hug and just cried on each others shoulders. She understands my pain. Ben was in the background just giving us time. Ben knew how hard it was for me. Its a weird thing....for me its one of the hardest days of my life...and for them...the happiest. Bitter sweet!!!
Ty was just so precious. I touched his feet, and kissed his head. I felt his hair for the last time and just was able to smell him and feel how warm he was. What a gift. I am blessed with five healthy children....four with me....one in another couples arms...but better off for it. I sit here with tears in my eyes....but I look forward to better days....better decisions. That's all I can do.
Here are some picture from today.