Friday, June 19, 2009
I got to spend two and a half hours with R and B and baby boy Ty. It was beyond sweet to hold him in my arms. R and B took Skyler out to the play ground to play and I got to change a diaper and feed him a bottle and just cuddle him. He is so soft and little. His cries are high pitched like a tiny dinosaur. Its adorable.
About two weeks before I had baby boy a good friend of mine sent me the little stuffed animal you see Ty with in the middle picture. The significance of that animal is that it is from a friend who introduced me to Ben and Rebekah. I would have never found these wonderful people had it not been for her. She sent me the cute horse so that I had something to cuddle after baby was gone.....but I know she wouldn't mind that I had another plan for it. I did cuddle it, but now that baby boy is here, I thought it would be fitting for him to have it. It is from the women that connected us all, to my arms, to TY's. What a wonderful triangle don't you think? Thank you Kriss!!!!!
I felt so good after they left. It did my heart good to see them in the outside world with the baby. I have no doubt that they love him and will take care of them but for some reason it was good for me to see it. I loved how protective they were and how much they seemed to know about him and what he needed. I still cant shake the sadness, but I have decided not to. Its going to be there. I am going to keep crying and that's OK. It doesn't help that I just feel lousy. I know its only been about three days but my milk is coming in so its painful and I just feel crummy. Somehow, tomorrow, I need to do laundry so Ill have to pull it together.
I miss my kids. :(
at 5:32 PM