Monday, June 29, 2009
Today R and B, baby Ty and I went to church. Rebekah had mentioned going to church together a week or so ago....so when it was to become a reality that we WERE going to go I was worried. Its one thing to keep my emotions in check in front of family and friends but to go to church......I was really concerned because that is a place that I would NORMALLY cry anyway. I threw all that aside though. There was NO way I would pass up seeing the three of them...so we went.
"Celebrate with those who celebrate, and weep with those who weep" were the words I heard from the pulpit. I have done so much weeping...and I feel that God has just been right beside me all the way. He has wept with me...and felt my pain. God knew what I would go through before even I did...so I have never been alone....today...I didn't weep.....I celebrated. I celebrated for Rebekah and Ben. I cant imagine what endless months of infertility could do to a person. I cant even begin to feel the loss and pain of an empty nursery and empty arms...SCREAMING inside for God to do something. The road must have seemed so long for R and B. I saw all of that today...sitting in church. I cant tell you the joy I felt, knowing that R and B's arms are no longer empty...and soon, there nursery will be full. It was most certainly time to celebrate with them. I am honored to be a part of this huge miracle.
The blessings keep flowing. God is so good. It seems that no matter what corner I turn, I am hit with another blessing. They come in big and small packages...but none the less, I know they are from God...and through each one of them he seems to tell me "I'm with you."
Rebekah's friend Meeghan made the most spectacular gift for me. I am holding it in the picture above. Its a miniaturized quilt that holds Ty's stats on it. I could hardly hold in my emotion when I untied the ribbon and opened it today. It will be cherished forever. She made one for Ty as well, of course in a bigger size but the same pattern. Thank you Meeghan.
Rebekah also gave me Ty's going home from the hospital outfit. She thinks of me all the time. I have never once felt unloved by Rebekah. Her love for me pours out, and I am never guessing how she feels about me. I am truly truly blessed to have her and Ben in my life......and to have her as the mother of my child and Ben his dad, sometimes Its hard to take it all in.
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