Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Just to set the record straight......

Well, this does seem to be a hot topic so I thought I would address it. (see comments on the previous post)

What an awkward situation hugh? Up until this point me and Rebekah and Ben have enjoyed having just the three of us. We have enjoyed getting to know each other and looking forward to baby boys upcoming birth and not only that but the time we get to spend together as newly found friends and soon family. I think that it really mirrors our walk with Christ. We get comfortable with how our relationship with the Lord is and then something comes along and reeks havoc on our lives and then we are thrown into a tail spin and we either question our faith or we question God or we question ourselves. Regardless the situation everyone has been through it.

So I think that is where we were.....comfortable. All of a sudden the birth father walks in and it made the situation different. I am taking the liberty to put Rebekah's (the adoptive mom) words right here in my post so that it is not missed and because I couldn't have put it better. Her words this morning were:

"Since it seems to be a hot topic... :)

Ben and I are not blind to all the birth father's a matter-of-fact, I see a lot of what Rebekah sees.

We are moving forward with a "relationship" (I use that word lightly) because we believe it's what's best for baby boy.

We are choosing to view him through the eyes of God. And for us, that's easy...he hasn't hurt, cheated, or lied to us.

We think Rebekah is remarkable and handling things the same way we would...the hurt is too fresh in her mind to see him differently.

We pray God's complete healing for her heart everyday. Nothing or no one will ever replace the bond we have with her...and certainly not the birth father, who has just decided to show his face.

We love you, Rebekah!"

I couldn't have put it better, and it feels so good to read those words. I COMPLETELY stand beside Rebekah and Ben in there decision to build a relationship (whatever that might be) with the birth father. As angry as I am at him, he along with anyone else deserves a chance to be involved with this; however, he still will suffer the consequences. It sounds like we are being easy on him but if you really look at the situation, he is missing out on a lot. He WILL miss the birth, and he has missed watching baby boy grow in my belly, and he LOST his chance to be the father to his son. Its so sad that he made those choices and so those are his consequences. For the sake of the baby its best that he be involved, even though it will only be for a few weeks. So, I will get past my broken heart and God will heal my mind and I will be able to move on.....I do pray that Ron can do the same after all this is said and done. He has only hurt himself.

Ok, and my next post will be ALL about baby, because all this stuff is WAY to deep. LOL I have my doc appointment today at about two o'clock. I am also meeting with the case worker Amy to sign some of MY papers. How exciting!!! We are moving right along.


Gibson Twins said...

I would love to see you and Rebekah write a book someday about this experience. I think it would open up so many hearts to adoption. You are both so inspirational. Hang in there these last couple weeks. We're praying for you.

mak'n Changes said...

I've said it a gazillion times and i'll say it again. YOU AMAZE ME LADY! You are handling this entire ordeal with such grace and maturity. I sure love you cousin! I want to be like you when I grow up!
Love u 4 ever!

LL said...

You and R have both said it beuatifully.

I haven't written about the bdad of our daughter in my blog. But I will say that we do not have a relationship with him. He changed his mind so many times before S was born and after her birth...denied paternity, then agreed to sign, then wouldn't sign. I feel sad for him because he has missed out on a beautiful baby.

Rebekah said...

I second the book comment!! :)

This has been such a process...for both of us. The process has changed me. And I believe for the better.

As God continues to speak to your heart and settle over your steps, I think one day you'll look back and say the same words. You, too, will be changed...and it will be for the better.

You are one of the most kind-hearted, joy-filled, generous, people-loving person I've ever met. God is going to take your gifts and turn them into something remarkable....just you watch :).

David Crowder Band sings a worship song that has a really cool line in it:

My eyes are small
But they have seen
The beauty of
Enormous things
'Cause you make everything

I see enormous things in BOTH our futures.

Paulette said...

Bravo!! Beautifully stated. There are no true "coincidences" in the eyes of our Lord. You are meant to be exactly where you are! What an amazing match.

~Katie said...

my heart aches for all of you. Unless you have lived through adoption, one side or the other, you cannot understand the love, the sacrifice, the bond, the hurt. That's not to mention the legal uncertainty, the signatures, and documents and so on and so on...Every experience is different but everyone is difficult and emotional. I have told you before how proud I am of you and how you have touched my heart, but I cannot tell you enough and I will keep telling you for as long as you have this blog! Hang in there and pray for God's will. You are in my thoughts.

Lerin said...

I have no words of wisdom, just want to tell you again how much I admire you. This must be the hardest part so far! You will remain in my prayers. XOX