Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Its been a few hours since I came home from the hospital. I have never cried so much. I didn't know I had so many tears, I didn't know I would have to feel so much. I thought It would be easier....but it isn't.
I have learned though in the past few hour how healing crying can be. Amazingly, I still am so sad, but I feel better. My kids Auntie and my best friend came over tonight (she wouldn't take no for an answer) and comforted me. What a gift she gave me in just being here. Skyler is home and I find a lot of comfort in that.
I'm not worried about the baby. I know he is fine and being so loved on and cared for. I cant imagine the joy in Ben and Rebekah's heart on there first (non-hospital) night with there son. There are no words for that kind of joy and happiness, and that also makes me happy.
I spent most of the day today with baby Ty alone. I cherished every single minute with him. I couldn't believe that this baby boy has been with me for nearly ten months. I knew my time was short, although I will see him again before they head to there home state. I just held him in my arms and tried to remember every part of him, from his jet black hair to his wrinkled brown feet. What a gift I have been given to carry him in my belly all this time. Yet I know that he will change so much daily, and I am glad I have been given yet another gift to watch that happen.
I am so sad, but I know that my sadness will turn to joy. Right now is the time to cry. For me that is OK. Its been such a journey from the time I found out I was pregnant, to now seems like an eternity.
So now, I sit here, NOT pregnant any more, yet I still look pregnant. My body still cramps up as if I was in labor, and this part of the journey is over. I have to rest, and get better because there is so much more to do now.
The birth story is quite incredible. I cant wait to share it, just not today.
Thank you EVERYONE for your wonderful supportive comments. Today when I first came home, all I could do was sob and cry, but it gave me so much comfort to read these comments that you all left....people that don't even know me....care about me. Amazing!!!!!!
Forgot to mention!!!!
Tyrus is his name
born Tuesday, June 16th
19 3/4 inches long
at 10:13 PM