Just a small update this morning. I felt like I was up all night with pain from my milk coming in. I thought if I could just hold out till morning I would get me and Skyler to Walmart and buy a breast pump. I waited and waited and morning finally came and we went and got one. Its just going to be a hard road.
My mom is on her way over to bring me some lunch. I am so swollen in my feet and legs. Its from the high blood pressure that I got from being pregnant. I sure hope this all resolves itself soon. Its enough to be sad, but to not feel good on top of that is just misery. UGGGGG!!
It is a rainy day today but despite that usually making people sad, it puts a smile on my face because I love a good storm.
I am trying to make a video to post on here but it is slow going. If I sit in the computer chair to long then it makes my feet get bigger and bigger. So I have to take lots of breaks.
I promise everyone that I will return to my perky self in time. For now, I want to document all of this journey, even though it is hard right now.
Thanks for hanging in there with me and sending me lovely comments. I love it.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
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16 comments:
Ugh...the milk coming in is so painful when it isn't released! I nursed all of my kids, so that full feeling always had an outlet, but I can't imagine what it would be like for it to come in and just stay there. :( Have you checked with your doctor about receiving a shot to help you dry up your milk? I don't know what it's called, but I know that there is one. Binding your breasts may help also.
I love a good storm also! We've had a lot of rain lately, but the good storms hit south of us instead of coming here. So, we got the rain, just not much of the good thunder and lightening. :)
Take your time and do what you need to do. It just takes time and there's no manual that tells you how this is all going to play out. Take care of YOU and your little man Skyler and don't worry about anything else. (((HUGS)))
We don't need you to be perky, Rebekah or to have all the answers or to feel anything that you aren't genuinly feeling! But I think I can speak for all your readers that we do love having these updates! It is just a small window into your life and the journey you are on.
And for as long as you blog- you will have faithful readers and comments that hopefully restore some joy to your tender heart.
Don't worry about being sad. I think we all understand you are having a hard time. Have you tried wrapping up your boobs or using a tight sports bra and cabbage in your bra? Some of that may help. Although standing in a hot shower and letting the water beat down should help as well. (( Hugs ))
Rebekah,
I hope you don't mind me asking this, but I was just reading the little bit that you wrote about yourself and saw that it said that you were pregnant with your sixth child. I was under the impression that baby boy was your 5th. I'm just curious about this and I hope it's okay that I ask. :)
still praying for you.
although it's hard for you right now, i'd say you're doing pretty fantastic given what you've just been through & are still going through both physically and emotionally!
let yourself feel whatever you want or need to feel... it's perfectly normal to have the thoughts & feelings you're having. it would be concerning if you were perfectly fine after what you've just done - you're just where you should be.
praying for your recovery physically & emotionally...
- michelle
now that you have a pump, have you thought about donating your breast milk?? :o) you have such an amazing caretaker personality and maybe providing this service to someone might help you focus on something other than the great loss you are feeling. i am not in any way undermining your feeling of loss or saying you shouldnt feel that right now though!! :o)
I hope you start feeling better soon! Shelby's bmom had such a hard recovery after Shelby's birth-she had her appendix and her gall bladder removed one week later and then came down w/ tonsilitis! So many prayers for your health!
I love thunderstorms, rain storms too!
I agree with Laurie, love having the updates. Don't need perky, love it real. That's the only way those of us in the adoption world, or any world for that matter, can understand in some small way how birthmom's feel.
Hormones just kick your butt and you sound like you are getting kicked girl! I'm so sorry you are having such a time of it. I'll keep praying...you just keep it real.
Hugs.
Rebekah,
you are amazing...
Be sad, it's ok, it's actually healing for your body. You are my hero. thank you for letting us all be part of this journey.
I don't know if anyone has suggested this but when I quit nursing I had horrible pain and my doc told me to get an ace bandage and wrap it TIGHT around my breast and it would speed up drying the milk. I swear it really helped and I'm sure you are desperate for some relief. I'd bring you an ace bandage if I could....
With everything you've just been through, I would be surprised if you WERE perky. You need to just be...whether it's sad or upset or angry, it's okay to let those emotions out. I admire your strength and selflessness.
The cabbage in the bra works great! It was amazing to look and realize that the cabbage leaf fit my breasts perfectly. Wearing it will probably give you some relief and a much needed chuckle. I am praying for you. God understands. He gave a Son to be raised by another couple. Lean on your Heavenly Father.
Ouch...your swollen feet sound awful and the whole milk coming in thing is brutal. Here's to hope and lots of prayer that your body starts to heal. Thinking of you today and praying for you, sweet Rebekah. Hang in there :)
Midwest Mom, TLOL
Are you feeling any relief yet?
I sure hope so.
CeCe
So excited I read this all tonight. You have a wonderful story here. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
Now... it is 1:18 AM! I have to get to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you buying a pump to donate milk, or to get some relief? I don't know if you've been up to visiting my blog lately, but I wrote a post recently about donating my milk to a friend who is adopting. I can help w/questions if you have them.
If you're searching for relief, a cheaper way is cold cabbage leaves! I have a friend who swears by them.
I hope you know how much I care. I was crying making dinner last night while telling Adam your story. We're praying for comfort and peace for you, my friend.
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